


Here we got, um... a dumbass and a smaller dumbass

by Hail_the_gay



Series: Thot-Man for president 2020 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Peter Parker, Aunt May is dead in some of these, BAMF Michelle Jones, BAMF Peter Parker, Bisexual Peter Parker, Captain America's PSAs, Car Accident, Chocolate Milk, Dancer Peter Parker, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Forgotten Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Orphan Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Protective Natasha Romanova, Protective Tony Stark, Rogue Avengers, Sassy Peter Parker, Sassy Tony Stark, Sometimes characters will change sexualities, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony is an asshole in a few of these, agh., he gets it from Tony, so cute., sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 25,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hail_the_gay/pseuds/Hail_the_gay
Summary: This used to be a field trip fic and I ended up deleting some of the chapters so if you're rereading this as an old comer, don't worry I just changed a few things. But this is all Domestic Avengers. Mostly.Previously Called : Spider-Son Iron Dad oneshots. (Avengers family oneshots)Thank you and goodnight.





	1. Senior Trips and Gone wrong muggings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peters class goes on a field trip to stark tower and Peter comes in from Patrol as Spider-Man, his class almost finds out his identity
> 
> It's Stucky and Pepperony in this, and Flash is a friend.
> 
> -Parker

Ned rapidly typed his fingers on the keyboard, Peter was at his house today, where the bus was headed for their senior trip. Pete must've been sleeping in at that point, or working in the lab, where his phone was on silent. He had refused to go on the trip because this weekend was the 2019 Stark Expo and he was helping everyone set up.

"Is he answering?" MJ worriedly asked him. She was worried for her boyfriend. She too, was rapidly typing away trying to pry an answer out of him.

"No... What about you Flash? Is he answering you?" Ned turned to Flash, in the seat in front of them, sitting next to Gwen.

"Nah. Gwen? Anything?" He turned to the girl who was thumping her head against the seat.

"Nope. It's official. Peter Benjamin Stark is doomed." Gwen whispered the last part. Trying not to give away Peters identity.

The bus pulled up the the large building. All 93 stories towered over them, as tall as Ned's fear bar. The children ushered themselves out trying to get into the tower fast enough to see their friend.

"Whoa, hold on kiddos. I know you're excited to see the tower, but you can wait for three minutes while I call roll, right?" Mr. Harrison stopped them at the front, holding a hand out, to signal they were to not go any further.

"Yeah, you know we're here, mark us off. We need to ask Maisie something." MJ yelled at him while pushing past his hand, strolling into the building. The rest of the group followed.

"Maisie! What're they doing. Our class is on a field trip here, haha. But... Peter isn't answering his phone and if there is any chance he is in the labs... He will have a sensory overload or pass out when the class sees him. Can you tell us what floor they're on or what they are doing?" Flash shouted to the receptionist for today, Maisie Ramirez. She stifled a laugh and told him that the Avengers were playing paintball on floor 92 that morning . The gym and the hallways. Yes, Mr.Stark built a floor full of hallways. Like a laser-tag room. Just for these occasions. When they played paintball, tag, or hide-and-seek. but she added that Peter was still out on Patrol and hadn't come back that she knew of since 9:00 that morning. Gwen groaned as Mr. Harrison pulled them aside.

"Sorry about that Miss. They're just some students who were too excited to see the inside of the tower for the first time they just ran away!" He cheerfully exclaimed, while Maisie was trying to hide her giggle with a straight face and the occasional nod.

"Of course. I understand. Now, is this Midtown school of Science and Technology?" She gulped down her chuckles and got to the point.

"It is! We're here for the 11:00 tour."

"Of course, let me get your badges and we can start once Lexie and Matthew come downstairs. They're your tour guides for the day."

"Great!" Mr. Harrison turned around and glared at the four before walking off to join the herd on the other side of the lobby.

"You four have your badges right?" When the four nodded, Maisie's stern face lit up. "Great! Now, sorry about your teacher. He seems like an asshole."

"He's fine. How is Ursa?" Flash liked to ask about Maisie's girlfriend when she was having a rough day, and it looked like she was having a rough day.

"She's in the R&D labs right now, working on some robots for the Monthly Stark Challenge. Now, I have to give out badges before Lexie and Matthew remember they have an 11:00 tour today." Maisie got up and walked over to the rest of the students, the four children trailing her.

"Buongiorno, Chris?" When Maisie got through all the names, Lexie and Olivia had come downstairs.

"What happened to Matthew?" Gwen asked Lexie.

"Won a bet between Olivia and Gabe. Now Gabe is cleaning the toilets on the fifth floor and Olivia is doing the tour." Lexie explained.

"Oof. That's bad."

"Yes it is. Now lets get on with the tour."

"Welcome Midtown high! I'm Lexie and this is Olivia!. We're going to give you a tour through the Tower! Don't make any aggressive physical contact towards someone here or you will be thrown out. Same goes for your words. Now, we're going to start by going up to the Avengers archive where you will be set free for 45 minutes. Soon after we will head to the Medical-Bay and Dr. Banner's lab, where we'll have the chance to ask him questions. Follow me into the elevator."

The herd of 18-year-olds followed the women into the elevator, which started moving as soon as the doors closed. When it had reached the archive, the doors opened and the children piled out onto the ground. Spreading out towards different exhibits. The designers moved towards the suits, the historians moved towards the Timeline. The scientists moved towards the awards. Everyone had something here that catered to their liking. When the main four teenagers popped out of the elevator, they immediately hopped over to the exhibits on the super-heroes. They needed to check if anything on Peter's or Gwen's exhibit changed, which it did.

_Spider-Gwen___

_ _ _Really terrible at paint ball___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Honorary Avenger___ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _Hates peaches___ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Best friends with Amelia Barnes___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Is a wonderful ballerina___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Girlfriend, Emery Wilson, has advised her not to get a belly-button piercing, because "If it gets caught on something you will rip your belly-button off.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She did it anyway___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Along with another lip piercing___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It was an "Ashley"___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"They didn't need to know that Emery thought my belly button would get ripped off! It hasn't yet anyways." Gwen grumbled after reading the adjustments to her exhibit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Yet" Ned added._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Hey, everyone! Gather round. Now we'll be going to the Med-Bay, get in the elevator!" Olivia shouted to the wandering group. Everyone started to shuffle towards the big metal box. When everyone had gotten inside, Olivia asked FRIDAY to take them to level 48. Some of the teens shrieked, and some jumped when they heard FRIDAY respond with_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Of course, Ms.Lincoln."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Thank you FRIDAY. Don't worry anyone. That is FRIDAY, the buildings artificial intelligence. There used to be JARVIS, but he uploaded himself to a lifeless android, thus creating Vision."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"What does FRIDAY stand for?" Cindy asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"FRIDAY stands for Female Replacement Intelligent Digital Assistant Youth."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Ohhh."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Yep! Now we're here, so lets go meet Dr. Banner. I hear we might get a meeting with the rest of the Avengers if you're good."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The group followed the girls towards Dr. Banner's office, where most of his work was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Dr. Banner?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _No response._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"He might be asleep, he does that a lot."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Olivia? Lexie? What a- oh right! Come with me, I'm treating someone, so you can come with me and watch."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Thanks Dr. Banner. Ok, group? We've got a change of plans. Follow us."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The group followed him into the hospital-like room. Spider-Man, Spider-Man was laying on the bed with circle like tears in his suit and a few knives in his side. MJ gasped and whispered "Peter" Before letting a few tears drop from her eyes and digging her head into Flash's shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Ok, kids, this is Spider-Man as you probably know. He was out on Patrol this morning and got into an accident with a few muggers, knives and bullets." Dr.Banner explained the guy on the bed. "He's going to need some surgery, but... Pe-Spider-Man has an enhanced metabolism, making any numbing medicine just pass right through him with no effect, so until we can figure out some formulas for anesthesia for a spider, he's just gotta deal with the pain."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Bruce. I'm dying here. Get Pepper them and take this fucking thing out."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Spidey, there are 3 bullets and 2 knives."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"My bad, take these fucking thing out."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Your wish is my command sir." Bruce mock bowed before calling out to FRIDAY to get Bucky, Steve, and Pepper down here. Then telling Tony could come if he wanted, after getting a message back from FRIDAY that he wanted to see his little boy."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"NO, don't let Tony come down hereeeee, he overreacts too much."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Sorry Kid, he's begging."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Fine" Spidey pouted. “Can I take my mask off?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Not yet, you have some visitors”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The door busted open and there stood Bucky Barnes, Steve Barnes, their daughter Amelia Barnes, Pepper Potts-Stark and Tony Stark. With the most panicked look on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Is he OK?" Tony shouted to Bruce._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Seee, this is why I didn't want him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Ok, rude. I'll leave."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Really?!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"No." Tony plopped himself down in one of the chairs. "I need to make sure you're ok."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Fine. Brucie, please get on with said surgery."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Peter's class was shocked, Spider-Man wasn't even an actual Avenger and he was talking so casually to them, even going as far to make fun of them? Who was he, and why did he sound a bit familiar? Most everyone pushed it aside, not wanting to bother the hurt superhero with their questions. Bruce gave him a rod of steel to bite down on. As he had learned from previous experiences that anything more flimsy than steel is going to be broken by the end of the procedure and Peter would have another trip to the dentist scheduled. Tony took the piece of steel from Bruce and put it in Peters mouth, still unaware of his classmates, but the mask was still on. Peter bit down on the rod and waited for Bruce to start the sutures. Bruce grabbed his tweezers and started plucking out bullets. Peter never screamed, just bit down harder and harder until it was almost bit through. The class was taken out quickly to watch from the outside, so they wouldn’t disrupt the procedure. They only watched as Peter was stitched and bandaged up. When all was taken out and taken care of, he spit the rod out and laid there. He started pulling up the mask and the group was hurried out of there. But Cindy caught a glimpse of something. A defined jawline and brown curls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. The one where Aunt May is dead and I'm not telling you anything else.......but I might be telling you something, like how Tony doesn't know........

_"Mr.Parker? I'm sorry to say, your aunt is dead."___

_ _Peter tried to block the memory out, but it just replayed over and over again in his head. Tears streaming down his face, Mays cold hand, nurses pulling him away from the bed. He just closed his eyes and started walking faster. The stomp of shoes behind him sped up as well._ _

_ _"Petey, wait up!" A girls voice called out behind him, Mariah held onto Jame's hand. A few more children were trailing behind them, but they didn't care enough about Peter to try and catch up with him. Like Poppy, who was in her senior year of high school, and took the baby, Ayla to school, pretending she was hers. Kayla held onto Wyatt's hand, Kayla was five, old enough to go to Kindergarten, Wyatt was in 8th grade, happy to help the little children. A few more kids as well, some older than him, some younger, but they stuck together, always making sure everyone was there before they went back home, besides he was practically Mariah and Jame's big brother. _ _

_ _"Sorry Mari, I'm just trying not to be late."_ _

_ _"It's ok Petey."_ _

_ _They walked in silence, turning street corners, and crossing the cross walks, when the Elementary school came into view, Peter and Poppy walked James, Kayla, Abigail, Charlotte, Noah and Liam inside, moving them to their respective classes, all 11 and younger. Then they crossed the street the middle school, where they waved Wyatt, Mariah, Jessica, Michael, and Ethan goodbye. That left Poppy, (with Ayla, who was only 6 months) Peter, Kaitlyn, Lucas, and Mia to go to the high school, scurrying to their first period of the day. Which Peter had with Kaitlyn, whom he was good friends with. He slid into the seat next to Kaitlyn, starting up conversation about Ayla's first words, which were "Momma" to Poppy and how Oliver (the orphanage caretaker) was probably going grocery shopping, because I'm not being mean to Peter. Then the bell rang and Peter tuned out everything the teacher said, thinking about the events over the last 5 months, he became Mariah and James favorite, he became good friends with the pretty girl in his class who happened to be at the orphanage when he showed up, and how he hadn't been to Stark Tower in 7 months. He wasn't planning on going back for a while._ _

_ _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

_ _Tony noticed it. He noticed that Peter was gone. At first it was just little things, like how it was quieter and vines weren't being quoted every second of the day. But it started becoming more noticeable. The tower felt empty. Without Peter, it was nothing, almost. Tony had fallen into a depressive state without his almost-son there to annoy him. Pepper noticed it too. In fact the whole team noticed how vacant Tony looked. They'd leave encouraging notes, like, _ _

_ _ _You're doing great today!___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Love the hair <3___ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _Hope Dum-E is fixed soon!___ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _But he just sighed at it. Imagining Peter saying them to him. He tried to do something about it, taking anti depressants and going on walks with Pepper. But the only thing that would help was Peter himself. He went to go check on him one day, walking through the streets, enjoying the hustle and bustle of New York. But when he got to Peter's apartment, someone else answered the door, and told him that the previous tenant had died. Tony gasped and started sobbing, for May. How could he have not known! He thanked the new tenant and ran down the stairs, hoping to find a clue as to where Pete might be. He tried different places. Eventually going to the high school, because why didn't he check there first?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Would Peter Parker come to the main office, please?" A crackly voice came onto the speakers, snapping Peter out of his sleepy state. He got up slowly, kissed Poppy's cheek, telling her he loved her (as a sibling) and blew a raspberry on Ayla and started walking down the long hallways to the main office. When he saw who was waiting for him, he turned around and started walking back down the hallway, back to his class, he'd rather play with his baby sister than have to face Mr. Stark. He heard pounding footsteps behind him. Mr. Stark wanted to see him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Underoos! Wait up!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Peter stopped walking, but refused to turn and look Tony in the eye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Why didn't you tell me?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"I wasn't ready." Peter mumbled out, barely facing Mr. Stark's softened expression. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"You know you can tell me anything."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"I know, but if I had told you I wouldn't have 16 siblings right now, have figured out why Poppy was never pregnant but randomly came with a baby to school one day, whom I adore by the way. I wouldn't get crushing hugs from Lucas when I wake up and I wouldn't get pep talks from Mia when I have nightmares. I wouldn't be able to know all the amazing little children in my life right now! The world doesn't revolve around you Mr. Stark, fit that inside your ego." Peters words stumbled out and he couldn't stop them, no matter how bad he had wanted not to roast Mr. Stark._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Tony stood there for a moment, stunned at what he'd just heard. Peter has 16 siblings, one of which is a baby? He gets nightmares? Most importantly, he thinks I have a big ego? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"So, sorry Mr. Stark. If you're he to offer adoption to me? I refuse." And with that, Peter walked back down to his class, greeting Poppy and Ayla as he sat back down. He took Ayla from Poppy's arms, bouncing the baby up and down, smiling and cooing at it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"What was that about?" Poppy asked the boy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"I just refused adoption from Tony Stark."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Peter is heartbroken and Tony tries to say sorry, Pt.2 of the previous chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of gut wrenching, I'm so sorry.

"You did what." Poppy whispered, the look on her face said it all, she wanted to kill Peter for his idiotic plans. They always were, but this one was the most stupid of all.

"I refused for you... I said I liked the family I had now because of how caring and sweet they were. And all the things I figured out like how you came to school one day with a baby and no pregnancy, having been there the week before, perfectly not pregnant looking. Also learning that Lucas, the manly man football star is really a big sap who likes to make bread and play the piano. Poppy... I did it for you guys." Peter tried to explain himself. Hoping his sister would understand. 

"Not my fault when Spider-Man dies. I love you and all, but really, facing the wrath of Tony Stark isn't worth the risk." All of his siblings in high-school knew he was Spider-Man, Mia caught him crawling through the window while she was doing homework and screamed... waking up Kaitlyn and Lucas in the process. (Nothing can disturb Poppy's sleep) Forcing him to explain. They were all chill with it. Constantly checking on his health though. Kaitlyn had once taken a bullet out of his leg and sewn it back up. Mia threw up that night. She can't stand too much blood or gore. 

"Mr.Parker, Ms.Robinson, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Mr.Opinan called on them both when Poppy got a little too loud. 

"No sir."

"How about I take the baby, she seems to be a distraction." The suggestion was an asshole move, nobody can trust their baby with a 64-year-old creep. 

"If Ayla can't be in class then she goes to one of our siblings." Peter hoped he'd say yes, Poppy trusted Lucas with Ayla more than herself sometimes.

"Fine, go find someone who can be disturbed and give them the baby. I don't like it in here anyways." He scrunched up his nose and made a disgusted face, sticking his tongue out.

"I'll go give her to Lucas, give me the diaper bag." Peter took the bag from Poppy when she handed it over, grabbed a hall pass and walked out the door, starting his quest to remember where the French class was. Lucas' last class of the day. The trail was long, from the bottom very left corner of the school, up the stairs to the top right corner. Add a squirming baby just barely learning how to walk and you got some trouble on your hands. He raced up the steps, holding Ayla close to his chest careful not to hurt her. He walked down the hallways, trying to find Mme Rack's classroom, holding Lucas inside. When he found the plaque outside a room labeled: Ms.Rack, French 3, he twisted the knob and opened the door, scanning the room for Lucas, when he saw him sitting around the middle of the room, closer to the windows, he scooted himself over and gave him Ayla, whom he immediately started cooing over.

"Lucas, c'est qui?" Mme Rack starting questioning Lucas about why a strange boy and a baby interrupted her class, she was young and nice, but just confused.

"Oh! voici mon petit frère Peter, il est venu déposer ma petite soeur Ayla" Lucas explained back in French.

"Tell her my teacher, Mr.Greer didn't want Ayla in his class, so he sent me to give her to you."

"Son professeur, Mr.Greer, ne voulait pas d'Ayla dans sa classe, il a donc envoyé Peter pour me la donner." 

"Ok, elle peut rester!" Mme Rack told Lucas

"She says Ayla can stay." 

"Thanks Lucas, see you soon."

"Bye Pete."

"Bye." 

Peter started the long trek back to his AP geometry class on the other side of school. It was worth it though, because he visited Anna, one of the lunch ladies and got a free cookie because he's always so nice to her and Grace. He finished his journey just in time for the bell to ring and Poppy to come bounding out of the classroom with him backpack in her right hand. He thanked her and grabbed it, he started to go get Mia and Kaitlyn from their classes while Poppy went to find Lucas and Ayla. When he found the two girls and met back up with Poppy and Lucas, they headed across the street to the middle school, which let out at the same time where they found Ethan waiting outside next to Jessica and Michael. 

“What happened to Wyatt and Mariah?” Mia questioned the younger children.

“Mariah had Volleyball practice and Wyatt is at auditions for Legally blonde jr. in the auditorium.” Jessica explained. 

“I see, let's go home. At 3:30 we can start walking back to the elementary school to grab the littles.” The 8 started walking down the road, heading back to 8th st. 

The large house came into view, all of the children went inside and dropped their backpacks off in their school bins. 

“Hey kids! How was school. Poppy, I’ll take Ayla and give her a bottle.” Oliver greeted them when he looked up from his place at the counter.   
“It was good.” Most of the children replied simultaneously.

“In english today, Marcie said that vocab was stupid and for nerds, and so I told her that she wouldn't be able to talk without vocab so she must be a nerd.” Jessica clambered on about her day, in great detail about the choir concert coming up.

“That’s great Jess. Anyone else?” Oliver interrupted.

“Peter turned down adoption.” Poppy deadpanned, staring Peter down, who shrunk in his seat.

“Who was it?” Ethan, Michael, Jessica and Oliver demanded. 

“T-ny st-k.” Peter mumbled, not wanting them to know he turned down adoption from a billionaire.

“Who?” Oliver put his hand behind his ear, signaling he couldn’t hear Peter.

“Tony Stark.” Peter said, still quiet.

“Who was it, Poppy.” Oliver turned to her, trying to pry an answer out of someone.

“Tony Stark. He turned down adoption from Tony fucking Stark.”

“Language.” Michael interrupted. 

“You did what. You could’ve been adopted by Tony fucking Stark and you chose _not_ to?!” Jessica practically screamed at him about it. __

_ _“It's not a big deal Jess, don’t worry about it.” Peter backed out of the room, and sprinted up the stairs to his room, shared with all the other highschool students. Their rooms were separated by age, because of time differences with school. He sat down on the bed, taking his phone out of his pocket, and grabbing the bag of gummy worms out from under his bed. He opened up his text chat with MJ and Ned, telling them the story._ _

_ _ _YeeterParkour:_ And then, she told Oliver and all the other kids and now they’re mad at me!__ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Bossbitch:_ Loser, if I turned down being adopted by Tony Stark I’d be mad at myself too.__ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _Guyinthechair:_ It’s true pete, no one blames you, except everyone blames you.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Peter! Someone’s here to see you.” Oliver called him from downstairs. Peter hopped off his bed and pounded down the stairs, expecting someone like MJ or Kevin the mail delivery guy who bakes him muffins. But once again, the sunglasses and goatee made his immediately backtrack. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Kid, wait.” Tony called out to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Peter spun around, rage flashing upon his face. “What. What in the hell do you need me to wait for?! I already said no, can you take no for an answer?” No answer “I guess not!” Peter lowered his voice to a mumble no one could decipher. “You’re just a little brat, you only want me for my brains.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“What was that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Nothing, forget everything I’ve said. Tony, I’d like you to leave if you could, sometimes you’re just a burden in my life. You know who came to May’s funeral? Carol, Natasha, Bucky, Fury, Steve, and Thor, and Loki too but he had to leave soon after arriving to go kill someone, but the point is that you didn’t even know. I wasn’t just not ready to tell you. You should’ve been notified that May was gone. I sat in the hospital for hours upon hours after being told she had passed and no one came to pick me up. I spent 24 hours in that hospital waiting for someone, when finally Bucky came in with Steve, apologizing because he thought you would have picked me up by then. What the hell? I proceeded to live with both of them for 2 days until the funeral, they couldn’t adopt me because they were seen as unfit, being 100 something years old, but they still visit.” Peter took in a deep breath, Tony just looked shocked, he couldn’t believe Peter was in the hospital for 24 hours before Bucky and Steve came to pick him up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Mr. Stark? I think it’s best you leave.” An 18-year-old looking girl started pushing his chest out the front door, while he reached for Peter, yelling he was sorry. Peter turned around and never looked back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. Replaced...

Peter Parker had a pep to his step that deflated when he saw an unknown face in the kitchen of the tower, standing next to Tony, happily talking and laughing with him. A boy with Brown hair, dyed blonder at the tips and green eyes. It was strange, Tony refused new people and on the rare occasion he accepted to meet them, he barely even looked at them. Peter looked towards Tasha, on the couch who stared back at him with a disgusted expression, which he wasn't sure was directed at him or the boy. Going off his confused look, Tasha nodded her head to the kitchen. Peter nodded and cautiously started approaching his father figure and the unidentified one. Tony noticed him when he started moving towards the stairs to his room.

"Hey Pete! Come over to the lab when you're finished with your homework!" Peter froze when he first heard the voice but relaxed when he realized Tony meant no harm.

"Wanna introduce me to your friend?" Peter pointed at the boy beside him.

"Oh! This is Aiden Bradshaw, he's a freshman at your school and he's really smart, so I thought I'd try someone else out!" 

"Ok?" Peter was caught off guard by the rude comment but he brushed it off and stomped upstairs. He opened the door to his solitude, the only place he was safe. With his own personal lab and bathroom and king sized bed. But his hand flew to his mouth when he found his posters torn off the wall, his things tucked messily into boxes and the pass code to his own lab changed. He sunk to the floor, frightened at what had gotten into Tony, but sort of confused at what had gotten into Tony. He heard footsteps moving towards his room and he quickly regained composure before they could open the door. Red hair flew into his sight and he heard a small gasp behind him. 

"What is this?" Natasha's voice went quieter when she spoke and her face looked petrified at what Tony did.

"I don't know Tasha, I don't know." 

"Peter, find all your things, I have an extra room on my floor and I bet Bucky would build a lab into it if you wanted. But first, lets trash this room, without all your things in it of course."

"No, we don't have to do that." Peter hurried to stop the angry assassin

"Yes, we do. Get your things on my floor and your ass back down here Peter. Now." 

Peter quickly grabbed his boxes and stepped into the elevator, requesting to be taken to Natasha's floor. Then after dropping his things off, riding back down to his old floor. Where he found Natasha waiting with a few hammers.

"What. No, I was thinking of just toilet papering it."

"Yeah, and I was thinking of burning it to the ground, so I chose an in between, grab a hammer and start smashing bitch." She said, moving towards his old lab, raising the hammer and bringing it down on the glass walls, which shattered immediately. Peter grabbed the hammer and started swinging at windows and counter tops, finally channeling his anger to do something useful. Bucky and Clint heard the noise and found a half destroyed room and two fuming, hammer swinging, people in the half destroyed room. They learned what had happened and gratefully joined in. Peter took a few deep breaths and told Tasha he was going to pretend everything was fine and go downstairs, to the lab to see what it was all about. Peter hopped down the stairs and put his thumbprint on the easy access entry. When it buzzed and said: Incorrect. Peter felt like crying and just typed in the code. When he was let in he found Aiden at Peter's station, fiddling with a piece of red and gold metal. 

"Hey, Pete! Sorry about your work bench, but you always sit on the counter or the floor, so I thought I might as well just give Aiden your place of work."

"What about the thumbprint?" Peter pointed to the door.

"Oh yeah, I can only have two prints on easy access besides mine, Pepper and you were the two but I thought since you already knew the code I might as well enter his print."

"Oh."

"Yeah." 

Peter silently sat on the counter with his beakers and some chemicals, letting out small tears at a time. He just wanted his life back.


	5. Replaced... pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I've been having trouble thinking of things to write about. If there's anything you'd like to see, please tell me and I'll do the best I can!
> 
> With love 
> 
> -Parker Jennings

]"Peter, Boss is requesting your presence in the living room please, he would like to speak to you about something." Peter's eyes fluttered open from a post-patrol nap on Saturday morning. He was adjusting to living with Tasha, who was being quite generous to him, giving him a space to live and plenty of love, as Peter has a need for physical affection with all the tragic things in his life. He was practically her son by now. Peter hauled himself out of the bed and after stretching, stumbled into the hallway, getting a greyout, where his eyesight goes black after he wakes up and tries to walk around. He staggered into the elevator and told FRIDAY to bring him down to the living quarters. Natasha had requested a floor just for herself, for her space and mental health. She asked for a special modification where she had to approve people to let them on her floor, unless they had a special pass, like Peter and Clint. The elevator halted to a stop and Peter stood up slowly from where he'd been sitting on the ground and walked out into the foyer, where Tony was waiting for him, he glanced over at Tasha and Clint, who both sported nervous looks on their faces.

"Pete, come over here." Tony beckoned him and he reluctantly shuffled over to the man. "Is it true you've been bullying my son?" Tony's face displayed a furious look as he question the boy.

"But, I thought I was your 'son'?" Peter was confused, he didn't know who Tony was referring to and even if he did, it wasn't a likely story. Peter's experienced that thing first hand and wouldn't want someone else to feel the pain he did.

"I mean, sort of. But I'm talking about the other one. Aiden says you've been harassing him. Tell me the truth kid, did you do it?" Tony placed a firm hand on Peter's shoulder, 'Wow, Peter thought, I've been demoted.'

"No, I would never ever try to hurt someone. I've already felt what it's like before, why would I do it to someone else?" Peter practically pleaded with the man when he saw Tony's face grow cold.

"Kid, I have proof, I can't believe you'd lie to me! What was I thinking."

"You.. h-have p-proof?"

"See, of course you're lying, the stutter is coming back!" Tony pointed in his face. Natasha came from the crowd and pulled Peter back, holding him protectively. Peter was still confused, what proof? And just because he was stuttering, doesn't mean he was lying. Didn't Tony know enough about mental health, to know that he was just nervous because he was accusing him of something he hadn't done. Some people romanticize mental health, and believe some things mean this and Peter knew Tony was not that person. He turned around and buried his face into Natasha's shoulder, even though they were the same height, 5'7". Natasha started dragging him away, and Peter tuned out the other things Tony said. He heard other footsteps and knew it was Clint following them, by the weight and the breathing patterns. Natasha whispered to FRIDAY to take them to her floor to calm down, the A.I silently complied and the elevator lurched upwards until they were on the redhead's floor.

"маленький паук, you ok? I know Tony's a little bitch sometimes..."

"Tasha! You can't say that." Peter giggled anyways. "Yeah, I'm fine, just frustrated. You have to believe me when I say I didn't do that. I would never, after Flash, and Skip" He said the last part a bit quieter, hoping Tasha would understand he didn't want to bring back bad memories.

"It's ok, squirt, we gotcha." Clint said, leaning into the hug.

Peter mumbled a thanks as he leaned into his friends/guardians. He loved them greatly. He'd go to the shooting range with Clint, who'd teach him to shoot a bow. He'd dance with Natasha, just to give her company in her floors studio. He kept up with her pretty well. He taught them how to fix up an old car and what the different chemicals on the periodic table were. He learned from them and they learned from him, all while avoiding Tony and his new kid.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony ignored Peter more and more, he was uninvited to family dinners and Tony's excuse was always 'I just forgot.' The passcode to the lab was changed after Peter had taken his things out, an obvious to keep the spider-kid outside. Tony stopped checking in with Peter after and before patrol and when he was notified by Friday that Peter was deathly hurt and in the med bay, instead of rushing down there like he normally did, he sat there and told Friday to turn up his music, which had surprisingly been switched from hard rock and heavy metal to folk rock, AC DC and Metallica, switched to Simon and Garfunkle, and the Beatles. Aiden had been spending more and more time with Tony and Peter was falling into a worse and worse depression. He helped it by turning on some classical and performing some pieces together or alone for Clint. Natasha also decided to teach him to throw knives at a target with Tony's face on it. They sparred regularly after his school day, where Happy would pick up Aiden and say sorry to Peter because he loved his job too much.

"Peter! Want to go spar downstairs? We can work in the studio tomorrow."

"Uhh, yeah ok, hold on, let me change." Peter stood up from his bed and change his jeans for leggings and his sweater for a tank top. He grabbed the bo staff Tasha had been recently teaching him with and headed into the elevator, where Tasha was waiting in her tank top and leggings as well. They usually sparred barefoot, which made it easier to move quickly. Peter was practically barefoot in the suit anyways, so it was the same almost. The elevator ride was in a comfortable silence, one they had perfected over the years. The silence ended when they came face to face with Tony when it stopped. Peter held his hand by his side, clutching the bo staff and forcing it to stay still.

"Peter, Natasha. I hear you're going to spar."

"Umm, yeah. Get out of our way asshole." Natasha tried to move past him, but Tony just slid across the floor, blocking her points of exit. This happened a few more times, when she had gotten sick of it. She quickly threw herself into the air, performing a grand jeté and flying over Tony. Who just stared amazed at her and quickly moved back to the second target, again moving in front of him so he would have no points of exit. Peter extended the staff, trying to hit Tony. He wasn't prepared to do a grand jeté in front of his once mentor under quite a bit of pressure. He just started hyperventilating, he was on the verge of a panic attack from being trapped. He sat down on the floor and slowly jutted the staff out, hoping to hit one of Tony's legs, with no avail. Natasha came back up behind Tony with Sam and Rhodey on each of her sides.

"Hey, Tones. Leave the kid alone." Rhodey pulled Tony aside while Sam helped the kid up. Peter was ever so grateful and gave Sam a hug before running towards Tasha. He entered the training gym, to find most everyone in there. Wanda was with Vision, practicing her magic. Bucky and Steve were both slamming their fists into punching bags, both surprisingly had Tony's face on it. (Though Peter did see a broken bag next to Bucky with Donald Trump's face on it.) Thor and Loki were still in Asgard, but Carol had come down from space and was giving a greeting to Natasha when she saw him. She ran towards him and he did the same thing, meeting her in the middle, like those cheesy love stories. Except she was his aunt so they were just excited to see each other.

"Pete! I heard Tony was harassing you out in the hallway, and he has a new intern now?" Carol questioned, when she saw his red face from almost crying.

"Yeah," He mumbled. "But Tasha is helping me with ballet and I have performance in like a week if you'll still be around then."

"Of course I will! I'd love to see it."

"Great, thanks Aunt Carol!"

They got back to sparring, Natasha against Peter the whole time, they boxed, did hand to hand combat, got the bo staff out. Peter was tuckered out, but Friday seemed to have one last request for him.

"Peter. Michelle Jones is here to see you."

"Send her up to Natasha's floor please and thank you."

"Will do."

Peter headed back up to Tasha's floor with Tasha herself and waited around for MJ, wrapping his knuckles and fixing a mistake on his history project about the Great Depression. A knock on the door was heard and MJ came in with two Dr.Peppers and a box of Ritz. He backpack was hanging on one shoulder and her hair was up in a bun. She had her reading glasses on, a rare occasion and she wore pajamas.

"Hey babe." She greeted him with a smile, holding here hands out with offerings.

"Hey baby." Peter kissed her cheek while taking the snacks, pausing the wrapping of his hands for a moment to grab them.

"Peter, I can do that if you want. I may be going into journalism but I took more than 5 first aid classes." Peter held his hands up in defeat and handed them over to MJ. (Handed, get it? Hand ed? I crack myself up.) MJ took the hands and the bandages and delicately unwrapped and rewrapped them. He smiled at her. His girlfriend's dedication to well, everything amazed him constantly. How he got so lucky? He didn't know.

"OK! All wrapped up. Now. Can I go punch Tony?! Pleeeeeeasee." MJ was so excited to kill the man once she heard from Carol he was harassing her boyfriend.

"I don't know the code to the lab. He switched it. I'll go ask someone though. Come with me?" He offered a hand out to her, which she gladly accepted.

"Can I take one of Natasha's knives? Or Wade's katanas?"

"I'll see. I doubt it though." His doubt was proven wrong when she got permission from both to kill Tony Stark. They hopped into the elevator, searching for Rhodey, who most likely knew the answer. He went to the common room, finding most everyone on the way. But no Rhodey.

"Hey! Has anyone seen Rhodey lately? We need to ask him something." Peter called out to the group. A chorus of 'No' and 'Sorry' were heard throughout the living room. They turned to leave, but stopped quickly. "Does anyone here know the code to Tony's lab?" They all looked at MJ, who held two katanas on her back in a halter and three daggers in each hand. They looked confused and scared. But they didn't want to question anything. Another chorus of no's were heard again but a small yes stuck out. Wanda raised her hand from the back of the group and repeated "6778910" MJ thanked her and headed in search of the glass doors.


	6. Out on the road they caught someone in the headlights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter just wanted to take a trip but sleep deprivation doesn’t mix well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Car crash
> 
> The more I reread it the worse it is so...

Peter thought he was a fairly good driver. When he got his license, he begged Happy to let him practice in his car. Happy who reluctantly complied when Tony said he had to. Peter learned quickly and soon was allowed to drive by himself. So when Peter suggested that he take MJ and Ned to Buffalo for a weekend trip, Tony had no reason to say no. So Peter thanked Tony, got into his car, -which he insisted be more subtle than Tony’s 100- with a weekend bag and drove away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Peter drove to MJ’s first, the girl got carsick and Ned would take the front seat if he got in first. The girl came bounding down the steps, backpack in hand. She slid into the front seat, gave Peter a smile and he started driving again. Now he had to go to Ned’s house. Ned’s mom scared him indefinitely, and he wouldn't be surprised if Ned had not told her yet. Peter got out of the car, hopping up the steps on the Leed’s front porch to get Ned. He rang the doorbell and the door delicately opened, Ned standing behind it.

“Hey dude, let's go!” Ned ran out past him, stopping when he saw MJ in the front seat, with a smug look on her face. Peter ran behind Ned, once again sliding into the front seat. MJ connected her phone to the bluetooth in Peter’s car blasting a mix of “Arcade Fire” and “Sonic Youth” Her favorites.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
MJ had been playing her music for hours, and Ned finally turned off her phone, connected his phone while MJ started whining in the front seat, glaring at the boys who were sick of her indie shit. “Black Dog” by Led Zeppelin started blaring through the speakers and Peter cheered in the front seat, excited for music he was familiar to. 

“Alright kiddos, we’re almost in Buffalo!” Peter called out to his passengers.

“You’re the youngest.” MJ deadpanned from his right.

“But who’s Spiderman, bitch?” MJ stayed silent. “That’s what I thought.”

“Anyways, we’re close, and I’m stopping at a hotel for the night.”

“Alright. I call one of the queens.” MJ shouted the last sentence so Ned would have to sleep on the floor.

“Aw man.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
MJ’s POV

I had put in earbuds not too long ago when ACDC had come on, I was bouncing my feet to the rhythm, not paying any attention to the words. I felt a slight swerve and I opened my eyes, to see Peter starting to nod off at the wheel. 

“Peter… When’s the last time you slept?”

“I dunno, like two days ago?” I could feel his tiredness seeping through the cover on his voice.

“Pull over right now. I'm driving and you are taking a nap.”

“Will do, Ma’am” He started swerving heavily, almost hitting a car next to us… Until he did. Peter T-boned the semi next to us and the car started spinning.

“Get your fucking seat belt on Ned!” I shouted to the boy in the back, who was laying down for comfort, the seat belt forgotten. Ned scrambled to sit up and put on his seat belt. I lay limp as possible, as if I were drunk, to numb the impact. But I still slammed my body into the side of the car. I tried to swivel my head around to see what else was happening. Peters glasses had flung off of his face and he had passed out in the middle of hitting the semi. Ned hit his face on the back of the seat and came back up with a bloody nose. The car finally spun to a stop, completely upside down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MJ shook herself out of the blood rush she had. She twisted herself around, as best she could, with the sharp pain in her side she could barely move. She found the seatbelt with her numb hands and after a few tries, got it to unlock, and let her down. She fell to the ceiling of the car and found her phone still (surprisingly) tucked away in her back pocket. She brought it out and dialed the first number in her contacts list without hesitation. 

One ring… Two rings… Three rings… 

“Hello?”

“Tony! We have a situation.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tony had been peacefully tinkering in the lab, wrench in hand and rock music blasting in the background. When his phone rang on the other side of the room. He put down the tool and hopped up off of his bench to answer it. It was MJ. Huh. It was rare that the girl called him, if she wanted to reach him, she’d call Pepper, who’d tell him. But he picked up the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Tony! We have a situation.” The girl had more emotion in her voice than he had ever heard from her combined, there was something going on.

“Yes? What’s going on.” 

“Don't freak out, but we got into a car crash and Peter passed out. Our car flipped over. Ned is awake and is trying to get himself out, but we’ll need help patching up Peter.”

“MJ! I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Tony ended the call and ran out of the lab trying to get his kid as fast as possible. 

“What’s going on?” Pepper stood in the kitchen, blowing on a steaming cup of coffee. 

“Peter. Car crash. No time, call Happy to get on the 460 to Buffalo, drive as fast as fucking possible. Take a jet if he needs to.”

“Tony! That’s six hours away!”

“So take the jet.” Tony ran out onto the roof. Calling his suit to him. Each piece clicked into place and he was speeding off towards Buffalo, New York. Hoping, just hoping that Peter would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ned had long since unlocked himself from the seat belt. But both parties were struggling to get their friend out of his seat. His hands were stuck on the wheel and even though his bone mass was lighter because, y’know, spider, he was really heavy currently because of all the blood. His seat belt was really jammed in there. 

“MJ!” The girl turned her head to look outside the car. That’s where Tony sat in the Iron Man suit, With Natasha and Clint on the other side.

“Tony.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, relieved that the (in her opinion) egotistical man finally had shown up. 

“Kid, I have some help with me, we’re going to flip the car over, is that ok?”

MJ nodded, and Ned furiously shook his head. 

“Is everything ok, Ned?” Tony asked the boy.

“I just don’t want to die.” Small tears fell down his face. He’d always had thantophobia, sometimes it got so bad or he’d have a nightmare and Peter would swing across town, getting to his house in two minutes and just sit there with his best friend.

“You won’t, we’ll be sure of it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“We can’t get you out of the car Ned. The doors are all smashed. We need you to trust us.”

“I-i can’t” Ned started shaking. MJ wrapped her long arms around him, trying to comfort him.

“I’m so sorry Ned” Tony yelled again. He counted down on his fingers to his teammates on the other side of the car. The car was flipped slowly and safely, sending Ned and MJ tumbling to the ground. Peter’s face became pale instead of purple and the two quickly unlocked his seat belt, with some help from MJ’s pocket knife. Tony, after struggling for a bit, ripped the doors off the side of the car, throwing them to the side. He pulled Peter out, laying him gently on the ground to check for a pulse. After MJ was helped out of the car, she went over to Peter, threw Tony off of the boy and examined him quickly, checking for wounds.

“What are you doing, Em?” Tony questioned, rubbing his head where he hit it.

“I’m training to be a critical care nurse Tony, I know what I’m doing.” She yelled over her shoulder, checking the boy over. Peter groaned, shifting to the side a little bit, before he sat up suddenly yelling: “There’s a car MJ, and I’m going to hit it.” 

Tony started laughing at how sure Peter sounded of himself, while MJ just nodded and glared at Tony from where she sat next to her best friend. 

“Stop laughing asshole.”

“Hey! I’m not an asshole.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest like a child, sticking his bottom lip out. 

“Sure, will you carry him to the jet?” MJ stood up and Tony took her place, carefully picking up the boy and leading him to the jet.

“Wow Pete. With all that web-slinging you do I never would have thought you’d almost die from a car crash. I’m just glad you're safe.”


	7. We got a sassy Peter and pardoned Avengers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter was having a wonderful day, but when he walked into the living room, there were some new presences and Peter didn't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, just wanted to write some and this came into my head. Thank y'all! I love you guys so much. Make sure you're taking care of yourself in quarantine. I know how fic readers can get when they're engrossed in something. Wash your face, take a shower, eat something healthy, do your schoolwork, make art, write, read something other than this shit, go on a walk or appreciate nature!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> -Parker

Peter Parker was having a pretty good day. Flash was at a dentist's appointment all morning so he was free of harassment, MJ gave him his physics textbook back and he had a date with Harley later that night. The boy was being flown in from Tennessee, he had gone to visit his mom and sister and had been gone for weeks. Peter promised that when Harley got home, they’d have a movie night. And now Peter was in the elevator on his way to the penthouse to grab some food before going down to the lab with Tony. The elevator doors opened and he stepped out, putting down his phone from texting Harley and noticed multiple new presences in the living room. He looked up briefly and noticed Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and Wanda Maximoff sitting on the couch he usually draped himself over to do homework. 

“What the fuck are they doing here?” He pointed at the three, looking over at Tony, who was sitting in a chair across from them. 

“They got pardoned.” Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“UuuuuuhhhhhUggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Peter started groaning and flopped over, almost folding himself in half backwards and bouncing around. Pretty much defying the laws of gravity and the human body. 

“Oh my god, kid ar-” Steve looked concerned at the boy's flexibility.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Peter had returned to normal shape and held up his pointer finger. “I have a date, with my beautiful boyfriend who has been in Tennessee for weeks and I don’t want you motherfuckers to ruin it. You’re sitting on my homework couch and I’ll probably never sit there again. Thank you.” Peter started to walk off.

“Kid, come on ju-” Tony started. But Peter turned around with a glare at Tony and held up his pointer finger again in a ‘stop’ motion. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. It.” He sent another stare Tony’s way and walked off to the lab, but not before grabbing a large container of homemade cookies that sat on the counter.

“Peter. Steve brought those as a peace offering.” Tony called out. Peter walked back in with the same look on his face, head turned towards Tony, and threw the box at the microwave, which was suspended above the oven and turned to grab an apple and a diet coke instead. 

“Thank you Tony.” Peter walked off again, never letting his eyes leave the back of Steve’s head, hell, he could burn a hole into the damn thing if he really wanted to.

“Intense kid, is he yours?” Bucky said when he was sure Peter was gone. 

Tony smiled. “He might as well be.”


	8. Always in time, but never in line for dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancer Peter Parker and his interaction with Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you can probably tell from reading this short chapter, I'm not a dancer, so I didn't have much dancing vocab in there, just use your imaginations. 
> 
> Love y'all, take care of yourselves!
> 
> -Parker

Peter Parker was a dancer. When his parents died he needed a way to grieve silently and when he saw beautiful young women in the window of a ballet studio, dancing their hearts out, he turned to May, pointed at the girls and said, “That’s what I want to do.” And so he did. May signed him up for beginners classes and Peter danced his heart out, and he got good at it. But Flash found out. Flash dug around and found a pair of pointe shoes in Peter’s backpack in 8th grade and started teasing him about it, relentlessly. Keeping to the stereotype that only females danced. Which Peter thought was stupid, but boy was he devestated. He ran home crying to May that fateful Tuesday and instead of getting on his leotard to go to dance that afternoon, he cried his eyes out, begging May to let him quit. So she did, and Peter never danced again. Sometimes he’d find himself sitting on the floor in a split, swaying from side to side, like he was stretching and he’d find himself in his room while cleaning, slowly spinning across the floor on his toes. The girls at his school who still danced told him they missed him and he’d find himself giving them a hug and saying that he missed them too, but he was just so busy and maybe they could meet up and she could teach Peter some new things they’d learned. 

So when Peter found himself baking cookies in Tony’s kitchen, spinning around and leaping across the floor as he hummed along to the music, only to have Pepper walk in and Peter stop abruptly, he wasn’t surprised. Just a little embarrassed. 

“Peter, are you a dancer?” Pepper asked, a smile growing on her face as she watched the boy stumble through his response.

“I-i mean, I was a dancer. So I guess yeah. I stopped in 8th grade.”

“Why’d you stop?” 

“I- there was this stupid kid that found pointe shoes in my bag and started teasing me about it. I still regret my decision to stop, but I got bit by the spider about a year and a half later so it didn’t matter and I would have had to stop anyways.” 

“Well, if you ever want to keep dancing, we have a studio a few floors down, filled to the brim with unused pointe shoes. Natasha goes down there sometimes.”

So when Peter found himself in that studio a few nights later at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep due to stress, dancing it all out, breaking in a pair of pointe shoes he found in another room, he wasn’t surprised. But then Natasha Romanov walked in, and he didn’t even notice. Peter was leaping across the floor, spinning Fouettes on the hardwood and going over the five basic positions and stretching himself in an arabesque, he was so caught up in himself, he didn’t notice Natasha Romanov walk in. Until she was in his line of sight in the mirror. He stopped abruptly, like with Pepper and turned towards the woman. 

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Romanov, I just couldn’t sleep, I’ll leave now.” He picked up the bag he brought in and started untying the pointe shoes.  
“Wait, Peter” She held up a hand in front of him, as to stop him.

“Нет, ты не понимаешь, ты не должен был знать об этом.” He retorted.

“Что ты имеешь в виду, я не должен был знать об этом.”

The boy stayed silent.

“Снова, Питер, почему я не должен знать об этом?” She repeated.

“это трудно объяснить”

“И я могу быть здесь, пока ты не пойдешь в школу через четыре часа”

“Don’t waste your time on me.”

“Then tell me why I can’t know.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want Mr. Stark or the rest of the team to think I’m any less of a man.” Peter sighed and stopped taking off his shoes.

“Peter, Tony won’t think you’re any less of a man. If anything, he’ll think you’re more of a man!”

“But why?”

“Ballet is so fucking difficult. How long have you been dancing?”

“I started when I was six or seven and stopped when I was 13, I’ve kept the skill though.”

“From the looks of it, you never stopped dancing. Who else knows?”

“Pepper, she caught me in the kitchen. And Clint might know, but that's just cause he’s a creep.”

She laughed. “You got that right. Why don’t we work on your technique.”

“Tonight?” He gasped.

“Tomorrow” She laughed.

“Alright. Thank you Ms. Romanov.”

“Of course, Peter. Now get some rest.”

“Yes, Ms. Romanov.”

“Natasha.”

“Sorry, Ms. Ro- Natasha.” 

“Okay, bedtime.”

“Right, sorry Natasha!”

Peter stumbled out of the room, carrying his bag and the newly broken-in pair of shoes slung across his shoulder. Natasha smiled at where his figure once was and laughed when she heard a loud tumble and a quiet “I’m okay!”


	9. I took the poison praying you'd feel it too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker is underestimated by Steve Rogers. So when Peter goes to fight him, shirtless. He proves that all of his scars make him just as much as a man as Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I love you guys so much, take care of yourselves and enjoy.
> 
> TW: Mentions of being, stabbed, shot and I guess, cursing?

Peter knew he was strong, he had lifted over 25 tons before and had beaten Natasha in sparring multiple times. But Steve was back, and he underestimated the 18-year-old like there was no tomorrow. And Peter hated it. So when Peter was up early Saturday doing homework on his bed, and FRIDAY called him down, he knew this was the chance to beat Steve’s ass.

“Peter, Boss wants you in the gym.” The voice filled Peter’s room and startled him out of his trance.

“Alright, tell him I’ll be there soon.” Peter got up off his bed, abandoning his calculus homework. He changed into a pair of gym shorts and left his shirt off, knowing he’d end up taking it off mid-way through training anyways. Peter walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of strawberry yogurt before making his way to the gym. FRIDAY opened the door for him and he almost choked on the yogurt when he noticed Natasha sitting on Steve’s shoulders, choking him while Tony stood off to the side chanting, “Kill him! Kill him!” Steve looked over at Peter and his eyes bulged out of his head, and Peter wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of oxygen or Steve’s notice of the scars littering Peter’s body. Long, jagged, scars ran across the boy’s back, stomach, shoulder blades, ribs, anywhere. And smaller scars were blotched around the larger ones. Small circled scars hid under dents in his body from being shot a few times too many. Some were red, more raw and new, some were pink, still new but not as much so, or they healed like that. Some were white, from years back. Natasha noticed the new boy come in and slid off of Steve’s shoulders, to let the older man breathe. Natasha gave Peter a smile before grabbing her water bottle and taking a long swig of it. Tony walked over to Peter and gave him a clap on the back.

“Looks like star-spangled-asshole noticed your battle wounds. Will you spar him?”

“Do I have to?” Peter whined, setting down the now empty bowl of yogurt.

“Kind of, he’s run out of partners and you need to train with different people to up your skill set, only working with Nat and sometimes Clint only gets you so far in life.”

“Fine.” Peter sighed and walked up to the man who was still catching his breath. “Hey, Steve-o, do you prefer to fight with weapons or not? Cause I got this fucking fan-_tastic_ new web formula and I’ve been wanting to try it out for like three months but Natasha prefers hand-to-hand and Clint is at his farm so I can’t use them on him bu- are you okay?” Peter noticed that even though Steve’s face had returned to its normal color, he had a pained look on his face, annoyed, even.

“Yeah, I'm fine, kid.”

“Don’t call me kid.”

“Tony calls you that all the time.”  
“Yeah, because he can, he’s allowed to.”

“What would you prefer I call you?”

“How about, ‘strongest avenger’ ooh, or ‘can beat Captain America in a fight but the asshole won’t admit it’”

“Very funny Peter.”

“Oh, my name works too, thank you.”

“To answer your question, I work hand to hand usually.”

“Damn it! Fine, I won’t bring out the web-shooters.”

“Thank you. Now, I have a question for you.”

“Shoot. Or rather, don’t, that has happened way too many times for comfort and you know, you’re already kind of a bad person so if you shot an 18-year-old it might be bad press.”

“I won’t shoot you. But may I ask what happened to you?”

Peter looked at Steve for a second, confusion rushing over his face until he realized what Steve was referring to. “Oh! You mean these!” He pointed to a mass of his scars. Steve nodded. “I’ll give the story on the big ones.” 

“This one was when I got stabbed with a serrated knife and I had to take it out and sew it up myself because I was an hour away from the tower and almost out of web fluid. When I called Tony to ask him to come pick me up, he had a heart attack.” He said, casually pointing to a jagged scar to the right of his sternum. “These three,” He said, pointing to a cluster of dents near his collarbone, “Are from when I got shot on July 4th, your fucking birthday Steve! You truly are the captain of a terrible country, once again Tony had a heart attack, yadda yadda. Ok, so now _this one_ is my least favorite. I got appendicitis. _Twice_ and let me tell you Steven, you know how fun that is? Not fun at all.”

“You got appendicitis twice?” Steve asked, he felt sick, hearing about this kid's pain and suffering. These weren’t even new scars. They looked old, and comfortable on his body.

“Yeah, I got it when I was like, 16, so I got the thing taken out. Then when I came back after the… you know, it fucking regenerated and then poisoned itself again! Jeez louise, Tony and I were coming back from god knows where and I started getting really sick and then it burst again because since the healing and all my body was trying to make me better but it just made everything worse. Cho barely got me out of death. But want to fight?”  
“Uhh, not today kid. I don’t think so.”

“Ok, boomer. See you tonight.”

Steve rushed out of there, face pale. Tony came up behind Peter, smirking.

“Wow kid, I’m positive that walking trash can won’t be patronizing you any more. Now, why don’t you spar with Nat.”


	10. Clingy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter usually isn't up this late. Sam is getting worried but Tony comes down the stair holding a Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love y'all, take care of yourselves. Sorry this is short, I have ideas. But... I'm terrible at putting them on multiple pages of paper. I'm looking at it in the Ao3 format and I'm like, this is so fucking short.

Sam was getting worried. He stood at the stove, flipping chocolate chip pancakes for the rest of the team. Everyone else was down, loudly munching away on their food, striking up conversation about how their week went. Two seats remained empty though. Peter’s and Tony’s. Sam wasn’t worried about Tony though, the man always slept in late if he slept at all and rarely came to breakfast, just grabbed some coffee and retreated back to his lab. But Peter wasn’t up yet. That’s what worried Sam. The boy was never up ‘early’ but he had an alarm set for 10:00 so he’d at least be up in time for breakfast and have time to train for 2 hours, then do his homework and still have time to watch a movie with the rest of the team while still being able to eat and go on patrol at night. And Peter wasn’t up yet. It was already 11:15, and the boy wasn’t stumbling down the stairs and grabbing a small stack of pancakes. 

“Have any of you seen Peter?” He mentioned.

“That’s what I was wondering too!”’s and “That’s what I was thinking!”’s chorused around the room. 

Thumping steps were heard down the stairs and they quieted to see who it was. Tony appeared with a small person clinging onto his back, the person lifted their head lightly, revealing that they were Peter, with squinted eyes and a scrunched up face. Nat held back a smile and Steve left out a quiet bark of laughter. Tony glared at them before moving to grab a cup of coffee. 

“How’d you acquire the koala, Tony?” Sam laughed.

“Poor thing was out all night on patrol, when I went to wake him up, he latched onto me and won’t let go. I’m used to it though.”

“I can take him if you’d like.” Natasha offered, holding up her hand and walking over to Tony.

“Sure, why not.” Tony shuffled Peter around to his front and lifted him off. Peter whined at the loss of contact but stopped when he was placed on Natasha’s shoulders, his chin resting on her head. He smiled and Nat walked off. 

“Don’t steal my kid!”

“No promises, Tony!” She yelled as she ran down the hallway.


	11. Natasha doesn't tell anybody shit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Bucky, Sam and Clint are watching the Olympics and invite Natasha to watch with them, this sparks some memories for Clint.
> 
> \--
> 
> Natasha did some shit and nobody knows except Clint and Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll. Thanks for reading hope you like it! I appreciate you guys and I hope you're taking care of yourselves during quarantine.
> 
> Love you!
> 
> Parker

“Hey, Natasha! Come watch the Winter Olympics with us!” Steve called out from where he lay on the couch, squished between the armrest and Bucky.

“Hold on Steve, let me grab some food.” She called back, rummaging through the pantry for a box of Oreo’s. She found the blue package fairly quickly in the back shelves and hurried over to where Clint sat on the couch, placing herself next to him and ripping the package open.

“What’s your favorite event, Tasha?” Clint smirked as he questioned his best friend.

“I would have to say ice hockey, or curling.” She said, popping a few cookies into her mouth.

“Really? Not, say… figure skating? I would have pegged you as a snowboarding type of girl.” Clint retorted, his smile growing more mischievous by the second and Natasha turned from where the biathlon started on the TV to staring, well, more glaring at Clint.

“No, definitely ice hockey.” She said, a growl hidden well in her voice.

“Is there some tension I see? What’s going on here?” Sam called from where he had been intently watching the conversation.

“Oh, yeah. There is definitely some tension. FRIDAY? Would you mind playing the Turin 2006 Winter Olympics, women's figure skating?” Clint called out to the AI.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Natasha hissed through her teeth.

“Yeah, what the fuck are you doing?” Bucky questioned.

“Shh. Just watch.” He pointed to the TV as Natasha put her head in her hands and groaned.

On screen a blonde woman in a sparkling blue costume, the left sleeve gone with her hair tied up into a tight bun on her head stood in the middle of the rink. Her head was bowed, and the lighting was mostly dark as she waited for the music to begin. A beautiful classical piece started to play and she started skating around, performing not only with her body but her face. She began to go faster, staying on beat with the music as she performed Toe Loops and Axels. She jumped into a Triple Salchow, gliding around on the ice, like a bird. She let her wings fly around her gracefully, embracing her environment. 

“Wait a second… Is that NATASHA!?” Sam shouted from where he sat on one of the leather chairs, standing up in awe and confusion.

“You got it. That right there is Natasha Romanov, posing as Russian figure skater Melikova Valerianovna. Not only is she performing in a wig, she also had to learn to skate good enough for the Olympics in three months with S.H.I.E.L.D’s professional skating instructor. And y’all wonder why we always put Tasha on the undercover missions.” Clint rambled off facts about Natasha’s performance as Steve’s jaw dropped and he kept looking back and forth from Natasha to the screen. Bucky stared in amazement at the girl on the screen. 

“FRIDAY? Would you play the Vancouver 2010 women’s snowboarding halfpipe, please?” Clint called to the ceiling for a second time. The blonde on the screen cut out and was replaced by a brunette, dressed head to toe in snowboarding gear, her helmet, placed by her side was slid onto her head by the wearer and she strapped her other foot into the snowboard.

“Oh. My. God. Don’t tell me this is Natasha too.” Steve stared at the snowboarder in wonder.

“This is Natasha too. This is Italian snowboarder Selene Sarro. This time Tasha dyed her hair but she still had to learn how to snowboard in 5 months this time. She got really good and prefers aerial tricks.” Clint spouted facts. 

“I hate you Clint.” Natasha shook her head, cheeks red from embarrassment. 

“I love you too Tasha,” Clint grinned at her. “In her free time, Tasha still likes to practice her Skating and Snowboarding skills because she enjoyed her time in the olympics.” 

Natasha glared at him, like she had been doing. “I swear to god. If you-” She was cut off by Clint’s voice once more.

“FRIDAY? Play the Rio 2016 10M Platform Women’s diving competition, would you?”

The screen faded to black and showed a woman standing on a diving board in a black swimsuit, and green, white and orange swim cap. She approached the edge of the board as Sam whispered. “No way.”

She flipped herself into an arm stand, hands gripping the edge of the board. She pushed herself off of the board, body bending into a pike as Steve screamed, gripping onto Bucky for comfort. She performed 3 ½ twists and 1 ½ somersaults before she hit the water, perfectly diving underneath the surface.

“This right here is Evelynn Ryan, an Irish diver. She did the same training and if we decide to watch the whole thing, when she wins first place and takes off her swim cap for the awards, you’d figure out the only thing Nat changed was her eye color from green to blue and added some freckles for the real Irish authenticity.” Clint spewed again.

“Natasha. You’ve performed in three Olympics and didn’t tell us?” Bucky turned to the girl, who only now didn’t look as embarrassed, she preferred her diving competition over the rest of them.

Nat only shook her head, letting out a small “No.” 

“You haven’t performed in three Olympics?” Steve questioned.

Natasha only shook her head again, a blush creeping up her neck.

“She hasn’t. She’s performed in five Olympics and didn’t tell you!” Clint sang.

“Wait. What!?” Sam screamed.

“It just never came up!” Nat exclaimed.

“That’s right,” Clint rejoiced “She also performed in the London 2012 women’s shooting competition with a 10m air rifle and the Beijing 2008 surfing competition.”

“This is all true?” Bucky whispered. Natasha nodded. They heard footsteps pad into the living room and looked over to see Tony staring at them in confusion.

“I head yelling. Is everything alright?” 

“No! Did you know that Natasha performed in 5 Olympic competitions? Three summers and two winters?” Steve questioned him.

Tony nodded his head. “Yeah, did you not?”

“How come everyone knows this and we don’t?” Bucky inquired.

“I asked her, I was watching through old figure skating competitions with Pep and came across Melikova Valerianovna. Who I thought looked oddly like Nat, so I questioned her about it and she told me everything.”

“Huh.” Steve sighed.

“Let’s watch her shooting competition, that’s my favorite.” Clint broke the silence, reaching for the remote.


	12. He's doing it again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter likes to sit on the ceiling. MJ and Tony find it creepy, especially when MJ had to meet some of the avengers to get him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you're taking care of yourselves, go take a break soon! Love you guys!
> 
> Parker

Michelle Jones had been dating Peter Parker for around 3 months and looking past the society’s stigma of loving having a boyfriend to cuddle with and kiss, she truly enjoyed it. She had met his family, sweet Aunt May loved her and when she had met his pseudo-dad, Tony Stark, she forced ‘eat the rich’ and a few more sayings about capitalism down his throat. But, oh boy. When she met Pepper Potts, she almost passed out from excitement. She had managed to keep a cool composure but couldn't hold back the grin she sent the goddess’ way when she shook Pepper’s hand. She had been to the tower a few times to watch a movie with Peter and sometimes the Stark’s. This time, Peter hadn’t invited her over, but she knew he was there, holed up in the lab with Tony. But MJ didn’t like that one bit, because of this stupid biology project they had due in the next week, so MJ set off on the sidewalk towards the tower, her music blasting through her headphones and her head bobbing along.

She walked through the entrance doors into the lobby and passed the metal detector towards the elevators. She noticed security guards coming at her from behind but just before they pounced, she ducked and gave a nod to Happy, who told the men to stand down. The elevator doors slid open to reveal the empty box and she stepped inside, taking out one earbud so she could listen out for herself.

“FRIDAY? The penthouse, please.” She called out to the ceiling.

“Of course, Ms. Jones.” The Irish voice replied.

“MJ, FRI.”

“Sorry, MJ.” FRIDAY apologized as the elevator started moving up, the elevator made an unexpected stop. And in walked Natasha Romanov, famed badass and in MJ’s eyes, earth’s mightiest avenger; wearing sweatpants and tank top, her forehead glistening with sweat, it was obvious that the red-head had just gotten back from a workout. When Natasha noticed MJ, her face contorted into one of confusion.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“No one you need to know about.” MJ replied coolly, keeping her head forward.

“Why are you here?” Natasha pressed, her hand silently moving to the gun attached to her hip.

“To visit a friend, do not worry Ms. Romanov, I am no threat. You can take your hand off of the gun.” 

Natasha did not take her hand off of the gun.

“FRIDAY? Who is this?” Nat questioned the ceiling.

“This is Michelle Jones, she is here to visit Spider-Man.” FRIDAY replied, keeping Peter’s name out of the circle.

“Dammit FRI!” MJ whined. “Yeah, that’s me. Nice to meet you Romanov.” MJ held out a hand that Nat hesitantly shook.

“Why are you visiting Spidey?”

“Boyfriend.” She replied, no emotion showing.

“He’s your boyfriend?” Natasha let a small smile slip onto her lips.

“Is that an insult, Romanov?” MJ raised her eyebrow at the red-heads expression.

“No! I’m just surprised. I never would have thought that squeaky voice charmed the ladies.”

“To your surprise, he’s very charming. And short.” MJ’s face contorted into a small frown, which Natasha let out a bark of laughter at. The elevator stopped and MJ hopped out, giving a salute to Natasha, who smiled back.

“Bye, Michelle.” 

“Bye Romanov.”

MJ glided through the familiar halls, moving closer to Tony’s lab, as she glanced over the art hanging on the walls, seeing one of her oil pieces on the wall made her stop. It was a painting of a light skinned girl, naked back facing front with her head over her shoulder. She was grinning, cheeks rosy and eyes green. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back and freckles dotted her body and face. The background was a beautiful dusty rose-pink. And a lone, lavender butterfly sat on the girl’s shoulder. MJ smiled in shock at the painting, it was one of her favorites and she was glad when someone had bought it. She just didn’t know it was Pepper. She kept walking, keeping her eyes out for more paintings she might recognize when she ran into a tall figure. She stumbled backwards and looked up at the person. In front of her stood Steve Rogers, sporting a confused (and slightly amused) look.

“Sorry Rogers, didn’t mean to bump into you there, I was just looking to see if Pepper bought anymore of my paintings.” She played it cool. She never had a love for Steve, but he was still a hero.

“Really? Which one did you do?” He asked, surprised.

“The one back there of the blonde covered in freckles, with the butterfly.” She threw her thumb over her shoulder.

“I love that one! Are you still in highschool?” MJ nodded. “I can’t believe you did that!”

“It’s one of my favorites. So I’m glad Pepper bought it.”

“Yeah. Why exactly are you here?” He asked.

“Oh! I’m here to visit Spidey.” 

“Why?”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“Huh. I didn’t think nerds could get such pretty girls now-a-days.”

MJ crinkled her face in disgust. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, Rogers,” She started walking off. “And don’t act like a fucking perv!”

She finally made it to the door of the lab and punched in the code to the lab. The door opened and she saw Tony sitting at one of the tables, fingers moving across the board.

“Run those calculations FRI, would you?”

“This problem made a dent in the work.” She replied after a few seconds.

“Tony?” MJ called out to the man. He looked up, startled.

“Hey, MJ! What’re you doing here?” 

“I have a biology project due in a few days,” She replied. “Peter was supposed to come over today, but he didn’t, so here I am.”

Tony pointed at the ceiling and MJ looked up. Peter was sprawled out on the ceiling like a starfish, snoring steadily. His back seemed to detach with every breath in while his hands and feet stayed. It gave her a minor heart attack every time to see him so close to falling.

“I’ll go get the broom.” She said, sighing and walking back out of the lab. 

She strolled into the kitchen to see Sam Wilson at the stove while Rogers sat at one of the barstools, making conversation.

“Do you know that painting in the hall on the way to the lab? The one with the blonde girl?” Steve questioned. 

“Yeah! I really liked that one.” Sam replied.

“Well I j-” Steve noticed her walk in. “Oh! Hello there! I realized I never caught your name.”

“Michelle. And sorry to bother you, but I came for the broom. I have to get someone off the ceiling.”

“Sam, this is Michelle, as you probably heard. She did the painting with the blonde girl.” Steve spoke to Sam.

“Well I just have to say great work. That piece is beautiful.” Sam smiled at her. She gave back an awkward smile with no emotion back.

“Thanks Wilson.” She moves past them and into the back room, where the cleaning closet sits. 

Michelle groans internally when she sees Clint Barton rummaging through it. She walks up right behind him and leans over him for the broom. He looks up suddenly, noticing the arm above him, he turns around.

“Who are you?” He questions.

“I just want to stop running into fucking avenegers.” She whines.

“That leads me to believe you’re a threat.” He pointed at her.

“I’m friends with Spidey.” She sighs.

“He’s cool. A little bit of an idiot though.”

“You got that right. Anyways, I just needed the broom so I’ll be on my merry way.” She moved past him and back through the kitchen and to the lab again.

“Got the broom Tony.” She called out to him.

“Get one of the poles over there on the wall and some duct tape to make it long enough.”

She glided over to the wall, grabbed one of the metal poles and some heavy duty duct tape covered in mustaches and combined them. When she finally got the pole long enough to reach Peter she started swiping at him slowly, trying to knock him off the ceiling. She made a couple hits and he woke up, eyes squinting at the bright light. He hunched into a crab position, stomach facing the ceiling instead of back and crawled all along the ceiling, avoiding the broom and whenever it got close to him or made a hit, he hissed like a cat-demon.

“Hey, Tony my arm i-” The person who had just walked into the lab stopped their request at noticing the seventeen-year-old girl hitting someone on the _ceiling_ with a fucking _broom_

“I’ll come back later.” They said and she heard the door shut once more. After her initial attempts were unsuccessful she decided to call in the big guns.

“Tony. It’s time.” She said. The man gasped and looked around as if he was a toddler who had heard a noise in the night and was trying to find the monster.

“Are you sure, MJ? We can always threaten him.”

“You’re too much of a softie to uphold any punishments. We need her.”

“Alright, fine.”

“FRIDAY? Call Pepper.”

“Calling Pepper.” The AI replied.

“Is everything ok?” Pepper’s voice came through the speaker after a few rings.

“He’s doing it again.” MJ whined, drawing out her words.

“Yikes, I’m sorry. I’ll be down in a moment.” She said, ending the call. Not too long after the two sane ones in the room heard the clicking of heels moving down the hall. The door opened, revealing Pepper Potts in her slicked back ponytail and a light blue pantsuit. MJ and Tony dropped to their knees, praising their savior.

“Where is he?” Pepper asked. Tony pointed to the corner of the room, where Peter sat in the corner, glaring at everything.

“Hey, Peter? Honey, can you get down from the ceiling, it’s creepy.” She called out to him. Peter snapped his head over to her, eyes immediately softening.

“Oh, hey Pepper! Sorry for the bother, I’ll get down now.” He jumped down, doing a backflip through his descent and landing in the iconic spidey-squat.

MJ and Tony stared in awe at the goddess before them.

“It’s not that hard.” She laughed.

“Easy for you to say.” Tony mocked back. “He’s like a demon with us.”


	13. So... you got detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has detention and starts to get a lecture when he get home. But thankfully it's one he's familiar with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovlies! Make sure to take a break soon and eat something! Love you guys.
> 
> Parker

Peter was stuck in detention for the third time that month, which inevitably meant his guardians had to be called. He begged Coach Wilson not to call May and had been relieved when she didn’t pick up. She was working a shift. But the next person on that list was Tony. Peter silently cried when he picked up.

“Hello?” Came the muffled voice of Tony Stark from the other end of the phone.

“Yes, this is Harold Wilson, calling for a Mr. Anthony Stark. Is this he?” Peter looked over at MJ, who was there for crisis drawing, in a silent panic. She just crinkled her nose in disgust at the use of pronoun assumption.

“This is he.”

“Wonderful! Peter Parker has gotten three detentions this month, which requires me to call a guardian to let them know.”

“Oh, has he now?” Peter could hear the smirk in Tony’s voice. “Would you mind giving me the rundown of what happened?”

“His slip says he was found putting his hands on another student, roughly, and calling them a ‘dickhead’” 

A sigh was heard. “Who was this other student, may I ask?”

“His name is Eugene Thompson, sir.”

“Peter didn’t do it.”

“Excuse me?”

“Peter didn’t do it, simple as that.” There was a pause. “I will be coming to pick him up at 4:00.”  
And the line went dead.

“Alright Parker. You’re in here for another hour, do what you want, no phones, no falling asleep.”

Peter nodded. Coach Wilson moved over to the TV on the stand, putting in a VHS tape and pressing play.

“So you got detention.” Peter immediately put his head down and let out a loud groan. He was sure to get a lecture similar to this when he got home so why watch it here.

“No falling asleep Parker!” Coach Wilson shouted from where he sat at his desk. Peter gave a weak thumbs up.

\--

A timer rang on Coach Wilson’s phone, startling the man awake and letting Peter know he was allowed out. Peter ran as fast as possible without looking suspicious.

“Alright Parker, you’re all- And he’s gone.”

Peter shoved open the front doors and threw himself into Happy’s car out of sheer joy.

“Hey Peter.” The driver said. Peter froze. It was Tony in the front seat, not Happy.

“Heeeey Mr. Stark. Wh- What are you doing here?”

“Here to pick you up, of course. Or would you rather walk home?”

“I’m good. I’m good, you can drive.” Peter rushed to reply.

“Good, cause if I was waiting out here for another minute or two I would have been as hot as…” 

“Can’t come up with southern analogies quick enough?”

“Honestly, that’s Clint’s thing. I can’t help that I grew up in a caged mansion.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“Don’t quote memes at me.” Tony scolded from the front seat. Peter froze from where he was laying down on the back seat. He shot up from his position, almost hitting his head on the roof.

“YOU KNOW MEME’S?!

“Who doesn't?”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Oh shut up.” The drive back to the tower wasn’t long, but it felt like forever when you were waiting to get yelled at by your childhood heroes, who are your aunts and uncles now.

“Get out kid, we’re here.” Peter sat up again, albeit he was struggling a bit more, grabbed his backpack and trudged inside. His face fell when he saw most of the avengers sitting on the couch staring at him. He walked past them as quickly as possible, hoping to avoid their questions.

“Peter. Get back here.” Natasha called from behind him. “What happened, маленький паук?” 

“I got detention.” He deadpanned.

“Yeah, we gathered that, but why?” Clint interrupted.

“I was ‘roughly putting my hands on another student.’” He did air quotes. “And calling them a dickhead.” He started to walk off again.

“You’re not getting off that easy. So, you got detention.” Steve started. Peter stopped where he was and bit back a laugh, but let the corners of his mouth rise. “You screwed up. You know what you did was wrong, Peter.” Peter let out a sigh, and shook his head. Steve was putting emphasis on the wrong words. 

“The question is, how are you gonna make things right?” Peter and Steve finished in perfect unison. Peter imitating Steve’s voice and mannerisms. Steve visibly paled at this.

“Oh no.” He whispered.

“Come _on_ Steve. They play that every single time we get detention. I have it memorized by now. I can even copy the voice, emphasis on certain words and the hand gestures. I just had to sit through an hour of your annoying script, don’t make me hear it again.” Peter exaggerated his movement to show his annoyance. “Maybe you were trying to be cool. Take it from a guy who’s been frozen for 65 years. The only way to really be cool is to follow the rules.” Peter started doing his impression of the PSA that’s been burned into his memory, starting where they left off.

“Wait. Steve. You never told me about this?” Sam was cackling and managed to ask the question through his short breath.

“Shut your fuck.” Steve muttered, shaking his head in his hands and groaning.

“Steve! You don’t like that kind of language.” Natasha scolded from where she had draped herself over the leather chair.

“No no no. They still show those?”

“What do you think, Captain Obvious.” Peter retorted. “They’re annoying as hell. Gym, Sex ed, Health. I have to listen to that, and then come home and face you.”

“They have a _sex ed one?!_” Sam howled.

“I’m confused, what are these?” Wanda questioned. 

“Wanda. When Steve came out of the ice. America’s public education system thought it would be a good idea to have him talk to the youth on safe sex, detention, eating healthy, safety, and gym.” Peter was joyous at getting to explain the horrors he went through. “FRIDAY, play Rappin’ with Cap, please?”

“Of course, Peter.” The TV screen started with the hot lunch one. Steve had gotten up, yelling over the screen about ‘how they said it’d be good for the kids’ and all that jazz. Peter just turned up the volume.


	14. Chocolate Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is super salty when he finds out what happened to his chocolate milk.
> 
> Featuring the AcaDec group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful, or handsome or whatever you prefer. I love you guys and thanks for reading. Go out and smell the flowers once in a while, please? Unless you're allergic, then don't do that. You can just look at them. 
> 
> Parker

Peter was searching through the fridge for something. He didn’t quite know yet what it was but he knew he wanted it. His eyes caught on the big carton of 2% milk that sat on the side shelves. When you have three (sometimes four, when Thor visits) super-soldier and super-soldier-ish appetites, you know to keep a lot of milk in the fridge. The sight of the carton sparked a memory in his head. Mr. Stark had bought him some chocolate milk this past week and he intended on _chugging_ that shit. So he rummaged around a bit more, moving containers of cream cheese and watermelon and sadly, came up empty handed. With a whine and a drag of the body, he searched around in the pantry and settled on the giant jug of goldfish. That was something that could hold him over till dinner. Possibly. He trudged down to the lab, carton in hand and binder full of trigonometry work in the other hand. He pushed the door open with his back, stumbling inside blindly. 

“Mr. Stark?” He called out, noticing the lack of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin playing. But he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference anyways. He always gets those mixed up.

“Mr. Stark isn’t here right now. He’s out to a late lunch with Colonel Rhodes.” FRIDAY reported to the teen.

“Alright FRI, tell him I’m here, please?”

“Of course, Peter.”

“Thanks.” Peter gets settled at his workstation. More like _on_ it. He pulls the binder out from under his arm and flips to the most recent page under his ‘homework’ tab, switching on some lofi hip-hop and checking his texts from the AcaDec group chat and privately Ned and MJ. He digs his hand into the bin of Goldfish and scribbles down polynomials with the other hand. He answers his texts by voice, mostly screaming into the mic when Abe and Cindy send memes and stupid things he needs to keyboard slam at. He finds he’s at the bottom of the cracker jug after half an hour and he’s already moved onto his physics homework. So he obviously gets up to recycle it. He isn’t going to kill the planet. He already saves it enough but with all the waste he makes with his appetite, he might as well recycle. He moves over to the recycling bin. Speaking into his phone after he reads something Ned sent the group chat about their divorce.

“NoOOoo, Baby, my sweetheart can’t you see that I di- Oh. My. _God._” He stops when he notices something in the recycling bin. A milk jug. A _chocolate_ milk jug. He gasps and starts glaring at the empty milk jug, remnants of what could have been left in the bottom of the carton. A single tear slips down his face.

“Send text?” His Siri pipes up.

“Yes.” He mutters into it. This will be a good story for the team. But first, he needs revenge. So he runs upstairs, ignoring the buzzing of his phone, reminding him of the questions of his teammates. He runs into his room and slams the door, running it a second later with a different shirt on. He makes it back into the lab in record time, sitting at the stool in front of his desk, hunched over and responding to all the wondering his teammates have been plagued with for the past three minutes as he went silent. 

“Hey kid.” Tony walks in then, sitting down at his stool after giving Peter a kiss on the head as greeting.

“Hey Mr. Stark.”

“Wow, so wrapped up in your phone you can’t give me a proper greeting?”

“Sorry, Sally just told us that keyboard cat is dead so we’re all mourning and paying our respects, but Charles won’t respect keyboard cat. He’s calling it a nasty boy and flagrantly derising it. So we’re yelling at him while I cry into Ned’s shoulder at the blatant disrespect. Annnnd now Abe is trying to rip off his blinds for fun while Cindy burns her face off with hour long face masks instead of twenty minute ones. MJ is trying to stop her, she’s the mom texter but the quiet friend. Cindy came into practice one day, face lobster red and we asked what happened because she looked like Larry the Lifeguard and she said ‘face mask’ and even though we all told her to stop she does it for entertainment and to be compared to the sexiest character in Spongebob. But yet her skin will never be clear and her crops will never be watered and her hotel will never be Trivagoed.” Peter goes back to texting silently, as this is a normal day in the AcaDec group chat. Tony stares in awe, confusion and fear.

“Pretend I never asked.”

“Will do.”

“Wait, actually I do want to ask one thing.”

“Shoot. Or rather don’t. MJ already worries about me enough. And if I told the rest I got shot, Cindy and Sally would care a bit more, Flash would ignore me mostly but ask if I was alright when the bullet was out. Charles would laugh and then help MJ dig out the bullet. Ned would probably worry his eyes out. And Abe? Abe is a wild card. You’ll never know. But he’d probably sit on the sink wearing a pair of retro booty shorts, a women's red crop top with a leather jacket on top, and a pair of aviator sunglasses while he’s eating a big bowl of birthday cake ice cream with hot fudge on it while he plays Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and The Diamonds on loop. But what's up?”

“Sounds like a normal day for Decathlon?”

“It really is. But Abe switches in between Bubblegum Bitch and Cherry Bomb by The Runaways.”

“Ok… do they all know you’re Spiderman?”

“Was that your original question?”

“No, but I’d like to know this one.”

“Yes, they do. We also try to keep Betty in the loop even though she’s not in AcaDec and Liz is still in the chat right now, she was gone for a bit after the Homecoming fiasco and she moved, so we removed her. But I apologized and all is good and she’s back in the chat. Did you know she’s studying at Yale?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she’s majoring in Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry.”

“That's cool. But my first question was, how do you cry on Ned’s shoulder through the phone?”

“Asterix and crying emojis.”

“Makes sense.”

“It does, I do this alot with the others.”

“Oh really? How many shoulders have you cried on?”

“Well if you count separate shoulders, but each time the same shoulder comes up a different time it's a different shoulder technically. Around 58. We’re trying to get it to 69 shoulders, so people welcome my tears.”

“Oookay? You do you, bud.” Tony pulled out a small robot that he was working on, a companion to Butterfingers, U and Dum-E. Peter was making his own, but had gotten stuck on some of the coding so he ended up throwing it against the wall. It shattered into pieces and Dum-E swept it up while Peter cried at the loss of his friend. So Tony started making one instead, telling Peter he could come have it when Tony was done.

“Peter, mind handing me the wrench?”

“Yeah, sure.” A wrench was placed in his outstretched hand. But he felt the figure linger there a bit longer. So he looked up. And was horrified at what he saw.

“What. Is. _That_?” Tony pointed an accusing finger at Peter's chest, who just looked down in amusement.

“Oh! You mean this? I got it from the Goodwill downtown. Pretty cheap but really good quality. Tony flared at the shirt that hung off Peter’s lanky frame like a toga. It was a navy blue shirt that spotted the design in Captain America’s shield right smack-dab in the middle. Peter smirked at the older man’s hatred of the garment.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“I despise it.”

“Good.”

“Good? What did I ev-” Peter cut Tony off in the middle of his sentence.

“Mr. Stark. You _drank_ my _chocolate milk_.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tony was confused, actually. He swears he didn’t do anything.

“I was recycling my goldfish carton.”

“You ate those already? I got them like two days ago!”

“I’m a growing spider. Don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to be mad at you for drinking my choccy milk. As I was saying. I was recycling my Goldfish carton and in your recycling bin, there was a milk carton. A _chocolate_ milk carton with some leftover milk in the bottom and coating the sides. I was mad. To put it lightly. So now I’m team Cap. Are you happy with your poor life decisions, Mr. Stark?”

“Actually yeah I’m pretty happy, you’re my kid and I have all my friends and my family here with me. And I have the greatest superheroes to fight alongside.” Tony started pointing to Peter, complimenting his work.

“Don’t try and butter me up Stark. I know you drank my choccy milk and I’m disappointed in you. Don’t come and find me until you have another chocolate milk carton I can drink while I stare you in the eyes. You’ll be able to notice that my pupils are filled with disappointment. I’ll be keeping the shirt on the whole time.” Peter walked out the same way he walked in, stumbling around with his homework in hand. 

Tony stood there in shock. He was a little angry at Peter for being so goddamn overdramatic, but I guess that’s something to admire in a person. 

“Huh.”

“What just happened? I saw Peter storming out, and get this. He was wearing a-” Rhodey walked in slowly, a confused look on his face as he kept checking out the door. Most likely trying to spot Peter again.

“Captain America shirt. I know. Apparently I drank his chocolate milk and now he’s pissed at me about it.”

“Actually, Boss. I’ve pulled up video camera feeds from this past week and it turns out, You did drink the chocolate milk Peter is referring to.” FRIDAY spoke up, voice as hesitant as it could sound.

“What? I don’t remember that at all.”

“Tuesday night, you were sleep deprived 56 hours by then, finishing an update on Peter’s suit while he was asleep so he could patrol after Academic Decathlon.” FRIDAY responded.

“Oh. Play the clip please, FRI?”

“Yes, boss.” On one of the screens in front of him, showing papers by different scientists on kinetic theory of gases that he was reading for fun, a video came up. It showed Tony, working at his bench, tapping at the screens in front of him while the spider-man suit lay on the table, arms and legs spread out. The mask was in one hand, he studied it for a bit before getting up and leaving the room. FRIDAY forwards five minutes and Tony comes back in with the jug of chocolate milk. He sits back at the desk, taps a few more things and opens the half-gallon of chocolatey goodness. Then he chugs it. Takes a few sips and the whole thing goes down the hatchet until there is no more milk left. Tony throws it over his shoulder and onto the floor. Rhodey laughs at this whole encounter and on the video, Dum-E wheels over, whirring happily as he picks up the empty carton and puts it in the recycling bin. The video ends.

“What the hell.” Tony is red after watching himself chug 64 ounces of chocolate syrup and cow juice. Rhodey is having a hard time standing straight, He's laughing so hard.

“I need to buy this kid some chocolate milk.” Tony says. Rhodey is on the floor now, giving himself some time to breath before bursting into laughter again.

\--  
“Dinner time, Peter.” FRIDAY calls out to the teenager, who is pouting in his room, chuckling occasionally at his friends pointing out the Bugles adaptation of all the Avengers scandals. 

“Alright, I’ll be down in a sec.” He gets up from his bed slowly, eyes still trained on the phone, he says his goodbyes while walking down the stairs and puts the phone in his back pocket. He looks at the dinner tables where everyone is sat, waiting for him. Nat pats the seat next to her and he sits down, across the table from Tony. 

“Nice shirt Pete.” Clint comments when he sits down.

“I know right? Captain America is way better than Iron Man. He stares Tony straight in the eyes when he says this. 

“Them's fighting words.” Sam acknowledged.

“I’m flattered?” Steve questions this statement, Peter is a die-hard Iron Man stan so what made him switch sides so suddenly?

“What’s the actual problem?” Natasha questions Peter.

“Stark drank my chocolate milk and now I hate him and I’m super salty about it.” Peter rambles out.

“Wait. Tony drank your chocolate milk? Bad move, Tony. Bad move.” Wanda shakes her head when she says the last part.

“Oh come on Peter. It’s just some chocolate milk.” Tony protests.

“That you stole from me.” Peter counters. “Give me my choccy milk. And we’ll be fine and dandy.”

“Give me a day.”

“Not taking off the shirt.”

“Peter, why are you like this?” Tony whines.

“Why’d you drink my chocolate milk?”

“Because I was 50-something hours sleep deprived and I was fixing your suit.”

“No excuse. I am smad. I am very smad.” Peter whines, tears forming in his eyes.

“What the hell’s smad?” Sam questions.

“Sad and mad at the same time. Smad.” Natasha answers for him, comforting Peter with a soft hand.

“I need Abe to play me Bubblegum Bitch while he sits on the sink in my bathroom in retro booty shorts, a women's red crop top with a leather jacket on top, and a pair of aviator sunglasses while he eats a big bowl of birthday cake ice cream with hot fudge on it.” Peter cries. Natasha just rubs his back as a consolation, worried, albeit a little confused. “Just get me my chocolate milk and I’ll be fine.”

“Give me a hug and I’ll get you the chocolate milk.” Tony offers. Peter gets up reluctantly, mumbling something about ‘anything for the chocolate milk.’ He gives Tony a light hug.

“Take off the shirt for me?” Tony whispers in his ear.

“I’ll never take off the shirt.” Peter whispers back as he pulls away.


	15. A wild rogue appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do another rogue avengers meeting Peter fic except some of the previous avengers already know him, so it's just Steve, Bucky, Wanda and Sam who don't know him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Take care of yourselves, take a walk, drink a smoothie and play a board game with your family.
> 
> I love you and goodnight!
> 
> Parker

Steve sat with Wanda, Sam and Clint in the living room at the Compound. Bruce, Nat, and Rhodey were there too, but not exactly for the same reason. The Sokovia accords had been re-compromised and Stark had issued their stay at the Compound for time being. ‘Their’ being Wanda, Sam, Clint and Steve. Bruce had been stuck on another planet with Thor, according to him, Natasha decided an apology would do her good long ago and Rhodey was always on Tony’s side. They all sat quietly, the Rogue Avengers awkwardly trying to not say anything out of fear. Bruce was scrolling through his phone, looking at articles on electron deficient compounds. Natasha was reading ‘IT’, her new literary adventure of the week she said, (Which surprised Sam and Steve, as the book was 1,138 pages long) while keeping up a conversation about the 4th season of The Good Place with Rhodey. 

The Rogues looked up at soft footsteps entering the room, assuming it was Tony coming in to get them their rooms. But it was not. A young boy entered, brown curls, a Star Wars shirt and gray sweatpants. Thick, black glasses sat on the bridge of his nose and one earbud in his ear, the other dangling at his waist. He was at the back of the room, where the kitchen connected to the living room. He opened the fridge and started digging through it, pulling out a large pizza box, a big glass bowl full of what seemed to be banana pudding, a carton of chocolate milk and a bag of cherries. The three sitting on the couch were not facing the kitchen and seemed unbothered by the noise. 

“Who’s the kid?” Steve turned to Sam, whispering. Sam shrugged and turned to Wanda, asking the same question. Her response was relatively similar. She refused to look at his mind, swearing off the telepathic abilities without good reason. Clint shrugged too. Natasha looked up from her book at all the whispering, stopping her conversation. She looked behind her and smiled at the sight of the boy, who was now carrying the previously taken food, a whole box of Coke Zero and three bags of Jalapeno Cheetos. 

“Добрый вечер питер.” (Good evening, Peter.) She called to him in her native language. The boy turned around, seemingly caught off guard, but quickly recovering once he noticed the speaker.

“Good evening Aunt Nat!” He cheerfully replied. “Good evening Uncle Bruce, Uncle Rhodey!”

“Good evening Peter!” The men replied.

“Как прошел твой день?” (How was your day?) Nat started again.

“It was… a day. I guess. We had practice for AcaDec. We’re going to Nationals, so it’s been stressful. MJ is insisting that we have practice every day. And she means _every_ day. I love her and all, but having to spend seven hours at Eugene Thompson’s house this past weekend was torture.”

“Прости, малыш. Убедитесь, что вы едите. Не выходить позже, чем на три вечера. Ладно?” (Sorry little one. Make sure you eat, and don’t go out later than 3:00 A.M tonight, okay?)

“Yes Ma’am.” He gave her a two-fingered salute and started walking out of the room, but he stopped, turning his head towards where the Rogues sat. 

He rolled his eyes, sighing. “Mother fucker.” 

“One day Peter, FRIDAY will call you out on your shit and report back to Tony on ‘underage cursing’.” Rhodey said.

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t give a shit about what Tony thinks right now.” He waved his hand dismissively, keeping his eyes on Steve. He walked towards them, placing himself right next to where Natasha sat. 

“Who are you?” Steve asked.

“Человек, который разрушит всю вашу карьеру.” (The man who will ruin your entire career) He started with a growl. “I’m Peter.”

“Steve.” The man held out his hand for a shake, but Peter just ignored it, raising an eyebrow at the appendage.

“I figured. What are you doing here?”

“Us?” Peter nodded. “Well, the accords got compromised so… here we are.”

“The same accords that should’ve kept you from being responsible for murder if you had signed them?”

“Well, I wouldn’t phrase it like that…”

“I would. I did. I have. It’s true.”

“What do you know about the accords?” Sam cut in.

“More than you.” Peter turned to him with a sneer.

“Oh yeah? Name one thing.”

“The Sokovia Accords are government issued forms to keep you and your motley crew of bullshit people from going to jail.”

“Not exactly.”

“Let me ask you this, Steven. When I go out as Spider-Man.”

“Peter.” Bruce said warningly.

“Hold on Uncle Bruce. Give me five minutes. You can even time it.”

“Alright. Five minutes starts… now.”

“When I go out as Spider-Man, I hurt people. I hurt bad guys, and on occasion, unintentionally, good guys. You do the same. I have broken spines and necks before. I never mean to, but I get caught up in the fight and henchmen like to push my buttons. If I weren’t a superhero or if I didn’t have any training, I could be put in jail for assault and battery. The Sokovia Accords keep that from happening to me because Karen, my AI, is told direct orders from my… handlers, I would say, to keep me from doing the wrong things. Yes I look out for the little guy. But those people never get hurt because I am careful when I do my job. Unlike you. When I am working with the big guys, like KingPin and Doc Oc, I am getting orders on what I am and am not to do, to keep me out of trouble. So with those cases I am not responsible to the law for any damage caused by me. Does that make sense?”

A hesitated nod from the others.

“Good, because that means if you were to sign the accords, this never would have happened in the first place because legally, you were never responsible for any injury, destruction or vandalism caused by you and your motley crew of bullshit people.” 

“One question.” Clint said, raising his hand.

“Fire away.”

“You’re Spider-Man?”

“And?”

“You’re like, twelve! Trust me I would know.”

“Shut your fuck Hawk-Ass. I’m 17.”

“Alright Pete. Time is up.” Bruce said, tapping around on his phone.

“Thank you Uncle Bruce! I will be out tonight no later than 3:00 according to Aunt Nat and I’m going to spend the night at Ned’s, maybe. We’re still figuring it out, but I’ll text Tony when it’s good.” He kissed Natasha’s cheek, who smiled at him and waved goodbye to his family.

“Night guys, love you!”

“Love you Peter!” Came the synced reply.

“Goodnight bullshit people.” He flipped off the four sitting on the couch and gathered up the food on the counter, rushing down the hallway to his room.

“Oh my god who is that kid.” Wanda rushed.

“He’s Stark’s kid.” Bruce replied.

“No way.”

“Not biologically. But emotionally, yes. All of Peter’s gaurdians died by the time he was 16 so Tony took him in. He’s been living at the compound and tower ever since.” Natasha cut in. 

Peter entered the room again. “Mr. Rogers, I wanted to let you know, I blame you for everything, all the time, always. Failed math test, Mr. Rogers. Getting sick, Mr. Rogers. Anyways, just wanted to let you know that you're always at fault and I hate you. Alright, bye!”

“Actually, it’s Captain.”

“No it’s not.”

“What?”

“It’s not Captain, it’s Mr. Or Private, I guess. Private Rogers.”

“Don’t know where you got that.”

“Just the fact that you never were awarded the rank of Captain while you served in the army. Captain was just your stage name. You were war propaganda to hype up soldiers. You also never completed officer training. Records show you only completed one week of basic training. One week. As a private. So Aunt Nat? I suggest that you take back the war veteran hat you gave him in like 2012. Which maybe, just maybe, will make him get a better disguise. Or he could take notes from the king of Wakanda, his girlfriend and his right hand woman. Have you seen their disguises?! They’re insane! In a good way! Hats, sunglasses and hunching over are stupid disguises, if anything, they make you look more suspicious. Alright, love you!” 

“T-that's, not…” Steve stuttered.

“A superhero name doesn't give you a rank. Captain Marvel is technically Brigadier General Danvers because when she came back to America, Rhodey helped her get back to the U.S Air Force. She worked her way up the ladder, climbing faster than you ever will. Show Carol some respect when you see her, will you?” 

“Um… yeah. Ok.” Steve replied.

“See ya around Private.” Peter said, walking once again down the hall.

“He’s intimidating.” Sam said, staring where Peter was, seconds before.

“Nah, when you get to know him, he’s really a big softie.” Bruce piped up.

“What is he going to do for schooling? He seems like a smart child.” Wanda nervously said, playing with her fingers.

“He’s going to MIT for Chemical Engineering. His girlfriend is going to MIT as well, starting with a major in journalism and a minor in political science, and then she’s going to law school.”

“Wow. Okay.” Bucky was stunned at the brains of this child. “When do we get to know him?”


	16. Geese are disgusting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper just wants a nice day out and Natasha doesn't tell anybody shit pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short but everything that's long on docs is short on here, so make do. Go do your laundry, clean your room or make some art! Take care of yourselves, and that means creatively too.
> 
> Love you and goodnight!
> 
> -Parker

Natasha Romanov is fearless. That’s what the public thinks. And she’d like to think so too. Natasha Romanov is mostly fearless. Natasha is _terrified_ of geese. She hates how threatening they look and they have teeth on their tongues. And if she’s on a run near the pond, they flap their wings and honk as she passes by. It sends a shudder down her spine and she runs a little faster. So when Pepper suggests they have a nice quiet picnic day on the lake, Nat immediately shuts the idea down.

“No, I don’t think we should.” She says too quickly for comfort.

“Why not? It’s a beautiful day and I think the ducks are out.” Pepper replies.

“Which means the geese are out too,” Nat mutters under her breath.

“What was that?” Pepper asked.

“Nothing!” She urgently replied.

“Alright, so we’ll go to the lake.”

Natasha groaned at the thought. But she reluctantly complied and got dressed for the summer day along with the rest of her friends. 

Natasha descended the stairs dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a striped tank top, sunglasses resting in her curls. Everyone else dressed in basketball shorts and shirts. _Basic white boys._

They all piled into seperate cars. She slid into the driver's seat of her teal 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air. Something she got as a gift from Tony a few years back. (He knew how much she admired old cars) She put the top down and let everyone else get in. Clint sat in the passenger seat and Steve and Bucky in the back. Tony sat in the driver's seat of his Porsche 911. Pepper next to him and Sam and Wanda in the back. They all set off down the road, Tony a little faster than her. (Could you blame her, her car was 65 years old!) Making their way to the lake. Natasha finally pulled in and Steve hopped over the door, sprinting down the walkway. Bucky quickly followed, a look of determination on his face. Clint opened the door to his seat and calmly got out, Nat did the same, moving over to Wanda and Pepper, she was going to enjoy this day no matter how many geese there were. 

Natasha hooked arms with Wanda and set off down the trail next to Pepper where the boys had run off previously.

_Oh shit_ Natasha thinks as she sees a huge flock of geese near the boys. She almost flinches but holds it back. Wanda looks at her weird and Natasha almost positive she’s read her mind.

They near Bucky and Steve, Sam has been pushed into the pond and was being surrounded by ducks as he looked on in disappointment. 

Bucky came rushing up to her and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her off to Steve. She rolled her eyes, but complied.

Steve held two huge geese in his arms which were honking at him incessantly and trying to bite his arms, he didn’t seem bothered though. Just held them tighter.

“Nat! Meet our new pets!” Bucky presented.

“Pets?” Natasha glanced between the two and stepped back a bit.

“Yes. This one is Quack.” Bucky pointed to the goose held in Steve’s right arm. “And Ham.” The one is Steve’s left arm. 

“Wow… that’s awesome.” She stuttered, trying to keep this under control. Steve was trying to hold Quack out to her when Clint jumped in front of her.

“Don’t worry! I’ll save you!” He shouted, holding his arms in front of her as a block.

Natasha masked her relief as annoyance.

“What the hell was that?” Tony ran up, panting. I was talking with Clint and he just looks at you guys, says “oh shit.” And proceeds to sprint down the path.”

“Tasha’s horrified of geese.” Clint explains.

“Natashalie. The most terrifying assassin in the world is afraid of geese?! Did I get that right?” Tony held back laughter.

“It’s a perfectly reasonable fear!” She shouted, throwing her arms up.

“Oh my god. I have to tell everyone.”

“Geese are terrifying!”

“About how the Black Widow is afraid of _geese_!”

“Perfectly reasonable!” Natasha screams at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed your stay!
> 
> -Parker


	17. The Gay-Vengers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter storms out after a teacher saying something homophobic. This leads to telling his family he's bisexual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve isn't really going to know any of the terminology, so bear with me. It's for the story, so he can get edumacated. Alright, thank you!
> 
> Love you and goodnight!
> 
> -Parker

Peter was sitting under a tree in Midtown’s courtyard, catching his breath. He’d stormed out of class in outrage. At the beginning of the year he’d really enjoyed Mr. Ditrey’s journalism class. Especially when he’d cover articles from the Bugle on Spider-Man so outlandishly untrue it’d leave Peter and Ned snickering in the back of the classroom. But what he did today made Peter want to punch him in the face. Today he was going over articles on LGBTQ+ matters and found one written by a homophobic boomer man. Mr. Ditrey had agreed with the writers standards and opinions and moved on. Leaving Peter and 85% of the class in general outrage. 

A beautiful lesbian girl named Naomi who was on the debate team screamed and argued with Ditrey on his opinons for 7 minutes while the other LGBT and ally youth snuck out. They were followed by Naomi, who slammed the door in rage and strutted down the hall to the art class, taught by a bisexual trans woman who was amazing in every way to complaint about her journalism teacher and his blatant homophobic standards. A few followed her and the others went their own ways. That’s how Peter ended up under the tree next to Ned. He pulled out a pair of earbuds that connected to his phone, which had Karen in them, she was his own personal Siri. He handed an earbud to Ned, who took it gratefully.

“Afternoon Peter and Ned, what can I do for you?” The AI greeted cheerfully.

“Play us Bubblegum Bitch, we’re sad and Abe’s not around.” It had honestly become their own personal meme song amongst the Decathlon team. Ned let out a small giggle.

“And text the Spidey Squad group chat.” They all knew he was Spider-Man, so they decided to risk it by naming the group chat Spidey-Squad.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Homophobic teacher just called out lgbt youth during class, most of us stormed out but now Ned and I are listening to bubblegum bitch, fuckin mint.”

“Send?” Karen let out a small laugh, if possible, when she read the text.

“Send.” Peter sighed. “What’s up with you Ned? You’re usually more excited to talk to Karen.”

“It’s regular now, and I’m just not feeling it.”

“Incoming call from Tony Stank.”

“Deny.”

“Did you just deny Mr. Stark's call?”

“Peter, Mr. Stark is insisting you answer, he will push the call through if you deny again.” Karen chimed in.

A sigh. “Answer call.”

“Kid, are you ok? Your heart rate went up really high and then really low and you’re not in class but you’re not in the suit so I just need to know you’re ok.”

“I’m fine Mr. Stark.”

“What happened?”

“I’m in journalism and we were just given permission to work outside today so I got excited then I calmed down and it’s outside so that’s probably why my heart rate was low cause I’m relaxing.”

“Alright Underoos, Nat just got back from her mission so she’s picking you up today, love you bye.”

“Uhh, wha- no? Love you too, bye.” Peter ended the call.

“You came up with that story on the spot?” Ned exclaimed, confusion and respect lacing the words.

“Mr. Stark said Black Widow was picking me up and that he loved me and that’s what you’re taking out of it?”

“That’s normal now, I’ve learned to accept your life is weird. Your lying skills have gotten better though.”

“That’s what happens when you live with spies. And assassins. And 6 feet tall men who can send you into a spiral of truth with a glare.”

“I’m pretty sure Steve’s 6’2”. So why didn’t you just tell him?”

“What? The story?” Ned nodded.

“He doesn’t exactly know I’m bi.”

“How could you not tell your dad you’re bi?”

“He’s- He’s not my dad.”

“He just called you in the middle of the day because your heart rate increased.”

“That doesn't mean anything.” Peter slides his knees up to his chest and curls his arms around them.

“He told you he loved you.”

“Doesn't mean anything Ned.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

Peter turned at hearing the doors open behind them. MJ stormed out, quickly finding them.

“What happened? You never leave journalism early. You love that class.” She said.

“Didn’t you check the group chat? Also… weird question. Are you spying on me? Cause it seems like you know where I am at all times.”

MJ takes out her phone to find the notification of Peter’s text. “No. I was in the library for Gov. I was getting some water when I saw you storm out with a bunch of others. A few kids went down to the art hallway, another kid came out here with you, but obviously went somewhere else. Two kids walked to the cafeteria, most likely to join a friend who’s in their lunch period right now and three kids went to the band room.”

“Oh. What books were you getting?”

“Just some on criminal law and feminism.”

—

The school day has ended and Peter rushes outside to find Nat sitting in the driver's seat of her 1955 teal convertible. He slides into the front seat and she drives off quickly to avoid anybody seeing her. 

“How was your day?”

“Unimportant, How was your mission?” Peter retaliated.

“Eventful.”

“I would hope so. That thing was three months long? I was worried about you.”

“Aw! You were worried?” Natasha grins. Peter rolls his eyes.

“I had to train with Clint. I was more annoyed you weren’t back yet.”

“Ugh. I’m sorry. Anyways, I was in Greece. I had to disarm a bomb. It was stressful and nobody on my team was a good enough mechanic or techie to help me out!” She screamed the last part.

“Sucks to be you. Anyways. I have something to tell the team tonight, you gonna be around?”

“This was my first stop after a shower and a nap, of course I’m gonna be around if you have something to tell us.”

“Awesome, thanks.”

—

It was family dinner and everyone minus the usual space guys were at the dinner table. Peter sat in between Natasha and Pepper and was quietly eating his burrito.

Tony gave him a strange look from across the table.

“Peter. You’re awfully quiet. Got something on your mind?” Tony said. The table went quiet at the sudden realization of the teens silence.

“Um. Yeah, actually. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell all of you.”

“Alright, go ahead!” Steve nudged.

“So. Today when I was in journalism class, my teacher was reading over current event articles, and since it’s June, he was reading over articles on Pride and the LBTQ+ community. He agreed with a homophobic statement.” 

He watched most everyone at the table tense up. Dropping forks and rolling eyes and even glaring at their plates. He even heard Natasha take a deep breath in and whisper to herself “don’t fuck up this teacher, don’t fuck up this teacher.”

“I, and around 9 others stormed out of his room and went to our respective safe places for the rest of the period. That’s when Tony called me.”

“Ah. So that’s why your heart rate went up.”

Peter nodded. “I’m telling you this, because I’m bisexual.” He sighed in relief at finally being able to say it.

Natasha wrapped her warm arms around him and said, “Thank you for telling us маленький паук, we’re so proud of you.” She pressed a kiss to the side of his head and squeezed him one last time before letting go.

Everyone else gave him a smile and a congratulations. This was easier than he thought.

“Um, excuse my question. What exactly is bisexual?” Steve piped up timidly.

“It means I’m attracted to both men and women sexually and romantically.”

Steve nodded, processing this.

“I’m pansexual.” Natasha said. “It means I’m attracted to any gender or gender non conforming person. I’m sure some of you guessed this when I flirted with that cute non binary person in Japan.”

Some nodded. 

“Pan buddies!” Tony held out his hand for a fist bump, which Natasha gladly accepted.

“I’m asexual.” Wanda spoke. “It means I don’t want to have sex ever with anyone. I cannot be coerced into having sex and it’s not because I just don’t like it. I am repulsed by it when it comes to my body and I can go without it.”

“I know it’s not really my place to say.” Bruce raised his hand to gain the attention of the others. “But this doesn’t even exist on their planet, so it’s fine. Loki is gender-fluid. That means their gender identity or gender expression is not fixed and it shifts from time to time between male and female. That’s the simplest way to explain it to you, but you’d have to look it up if you want to know more.”

“I’m transgender.” Sam said. “It means the body I was born in did not correlate to the body I wanted. I was born female and wanted to be male. I transitioned before joining the army but I still had a hard time keeping up.”

“Thank you all for sharing with me. I feel educated now.” Steve said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If there's anything you want to see, let me know! I get writers block frequently, but I pumped out the last two chapters and a chapter in another story last night.


	18. Bubblegum Bitch two, electric boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has the acadec team over for practice, they meet Tony and figure out Tony knows more than they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I've written this chapter in like 20 minutes, so nothing harsh. I'm really tired now, so bye.
> 
> Love you and goodnight!
> 
> -Parker

The way Michelle Jones ran the Academic Decathlon team was harsh. _Practice, practice, practice._ All day every day. So on Saturday, someone gave up their home for a few hours so they could practice. And especially since nationals were coming up, they had to practice even more. 

“Does anyone have a free house for the weekend?” Michelle asked before practice started that Thursday.

Everyone started getting out their phones, texting their parents and guardians to see if they’d be available.

**Me**

Hey tony can i have some friends come over to the cabin for the weekend  
Just saturday

**Stank**

Who’s some friends?

**Me**

The entire acadec team

**Stank**

Eh, why not.  
Morgan’s gonna be there though, so I’ll try to keep her under control.

**Me**

Awesome thanks  
Morgan will be fine

~~

“I can do it!” Peter shouted. “I’m gonna be at the cabin for the weekend, so we can have y’all.”

“Are you inviting us to Tony Stark’s house?” Flash asked.

“I mean, yeah. It’s really Pepper’s house, since she’s the one who gave the builders the plans for the cabin, but yeah.”

General shrieks of delight came from the team, others more excited than the rest.

“Simmer down!” MJ barked. “The cabin will do, thanks.”

“Just a word of warning, my little sister is going to be there, Morgan, and she’s crazy energetic. If she asks you to play with her, just say you can’t and she’ll leave you alone. But don’t be harsh or she’ll throw a fit. I’ll have to deal with a pouty Morgan for the whole weekend.”

General hums of agreement came from the team.

“Just give us the address and we’ll be there.”

“Another word of warning, it’s about 45 minutes out of town, so leave a bit early.” Peter said, sending the address to the group chat.

\--

A knock on the door of the cabin signaled that the first AcaDec team member was here. Peter shot up from the couch and went to go answer it.

MJ was the first to arrive. It made sense, since she was the captain and had been here before. Ned was right behind her, having gotten a ride with MJ. Ned greeted Peter with their handshake and gave him a hug.

“Emmie!” Morgan shrieked with excitement and ran towards the teen. MJ picked up the little girl who was barreling towards her and swung her around.

“Hey pumpkin! How ya doing?” She asked. Morgan just giggled and gave a thumbs up, immediately attaching herself to MJ’s waist.

“Good morrow y’all.” Charles has entered the building.

“How much do I have to pay you to never hear you say that again.” Peter deadpanned. 

“3,445 dollars.”

‘I knew we never should’ve suggested you take Shakespeare Literature and be from North Carolina at the same time.” Sally entered behind him. “I gave this bitch a ride and the whole time, he was quoting Romeo and Juliet and mixing it with southern analogies.”

“My favorite was ‘O, she is rich in beauty only poor, that she thinks the sun comes up just to hear her crow’.” Charles chimed in.

“That is horrible. Never say that again.” MJ says.

“And the price has gone up.”

“I’m here to take Morgan from you guys, sorry.” Pepper enters the scene and snatches up the little girl from MJ’s grasp, both whine at the loss but Pepper leaves quickly enough that you can’t hear it anymore.

“Was that Pepper Potts?” Cindy asked. “Holy shit. Was that Pepper Potts?”

“Potts-Stark, now. But yes.” Peter replied. “Who else do we have?”

“Just Flash.” Abe said, “I got a ride with Cindy.”

“Flash should be here soon. Unless he’s too worried about his outfit. ‘I can’t be seen in front of Tony Stark with sweats on!’.” Cindy said, doing a perfect impression of the boy.

“That’s so stupid.” Peter said. “I bet if Tony comes in here to greet you guys, he’s wearing his sweats.”

“Sorry I’m late!” Flash ran in.

“Only by a few minutes, you’re fine.” MJ said. “Now let’s get started.”

They all sat around the table, quizzing each other. MJ started with cards on science, then Sally read the cards on History, Abe read the geography ones, and Peter was reading the art ones.

“Who painted the ‘Birth of Venus’?” He was asking.

“Well, I know it was made in the 1480s, maybe, so it has to be someone alive then.” Sally muttered under her breath. “Was it Michelangelo?” She slapped the table like a buzzer.

“Nope.” Peter said.  
“It was that Sandro guy, uh… Botticelli!” Cindy shouted.

“Yes, next question. What year did the song ‘Love in Bloom’ come out, and who was it by?”

“It was by Bing Crosby and Irving Aaronson!” Charles shouted. “But I don’t remember the year.

“193-” Ned was cut off.

“Hey Petey, you gonna introduce me to your friends?” Tony stood in the doorway. Wearing, you guessed it, sweatpants and an AC-DC shirt.

“Oh, hey Tony! This is MJ and Ned, you already know them.” The two gave a wave to the man. “Flash, Sally, Cindy, Charles and Abe.”

“Abe, you said?”

“Yes.” Abe replied, already nervous.

“You’re Bubblegum Bitch.”

Abe turned to Peter in horror. “He knows.”

“I know.” Tony laughed. “With the booty shorts and the red women's crop top and the leather jacket?”

The whole team nodded, stifling giggles and chuckling.

“And the bowl of birthday cake ice cream and hot fudge? Yeah, I know.”

“Oh my god. How do you know?”

“When I took Pete’s chocolate milk, he wore a Captain America shirt and proceeded to tell me that’s what you’d do if he got shot.”

“True. True true true.” 

“Alright, bye nerds. See you in a couple hours Pete.”

“Bye Tony!” Peter responded. Then when he was out of sight and hearing range. “I told you he’d be wearing sweatpants!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank


	19. Makeup wipes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper and MJ come home from a long interview and immediately pass out. Peter goes into boyfriend mode and Tony is clueless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College students Peter and MJ!
> 
> Love you and goodnight!
> 
> -Parker

Peter and Tony were sitting on the couch when the elevator doors slid open to reveal Pepper Potts and Michelle Jones, leaning on one another for support, eyes partially closed. They trudged over to the boys, their movements slow, but steady. MJ collapsed over the side of the couch, her head lay in Peter’s lap, whose fingers immediately started carding through her hair. MJ let out a grunt of contentedness, and if you could see her face, a small smile would show. When MJ had let go, Pepper had slumped to the floor in front of the couch, promptly falling asleep.

“I assume the interview went well?” Peter laughed. MJ gave a small nod and a grumble of acknowledgment.

“What do I do?” Tony asked Peter, concerned for his wife.

“Get her up on the couch, when Em is asleep we’ll get them to bed.” Peter responded, while sliding off MJ’s heels. “And take off her shoes too. God knows those things are uncomfortable.” 

“How would you know?” Tony picked up Pepper and lay her on the couch. The woman was out cold, there would be no waking her up. 

“Uhh. I was going bar-hopping once for… what was it darling?” He asked MJ, who had slid herself to mostly leaning on Peter’s shoulder.

“Fourth of July.” MJ groaned. The sentence mostly sounding like. “Ort ff Jli.”

“Right, fourth of July. And-”

“Wait, kid. You were going bar-hopping?”

“Oh come on Mr. Stark, Logan was having a party and I couldn’t say no. And after we literally trashed his brother's frat house, him, me, MJ and her roommates went bar-hopping.” Logan was Peter’s roommate at MIT. “I was legal at the time too.”

“Alright, it’s not like I was any better at your age.”

“And MJ dared me to go out in drag. So I did. I was wearing these dastardly six-inch red, white, and blue heels and this horrible getup. But Carly and Libby,” MJ’s suite-mates at MIT. “They did my makeup and I looked damn good. Libby does cosplay sometimes, when she can and she had this gorgeous straight long blonde wig for me, and I looked fabulous. I was like that the whole night. At one point I had to dance to Rihanna and that was a whole mess. And a story for another time. But my feet were horribly sore, covered in bruises and blisters. I have pictures of the whole getup I’ll show you later.”

Tony was stunned silent while Peter ran his fingers through MJ’s curly locks, lightly untangling knots and whispering sweet nothings to her while still making conversation with Tony until she stopped responding. 

“Alright, I’m gonna get her to bed, night Mr. Stark.” Peter spoke, picking up MJ bridal style like she weighed nothing and carrying her through the hallway and to their door. He put her on their bed and moved to their bathroom, looking through MJ’s drawers. When he found the makeup wipe package to be empty, he went back towards the living room, finding Tony clicking through Netflix while Pepper’s feet lay on his legs. She was still asleep.

“Hey Mr. Stark. MJ’s out of makeup wipes and I was wondering if I could use Pepper’s?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Did you get her awake?”

“No, why?”

“Oh, I’m just wondering, seeing as you’re getting the makeup wipes.”

“Mr. Stark, it’s horrible to go to bed with makeup on, do you know how much damage that can do to your face? It’ll clog your pores horribly. Make sure you take off Pepper's makeup too. She’d appreciate it.”

“Huh, I never noticed?”

“Because they always take their makeup off. Do your wife a favor when I’m done, would ya?”

“Alright Pete.”

“Thanks Mr. Stark!” Peter ran off in the direction of their bedroom and slid into the bathroom, grabbing makeup wipes out of the drawer. Peter walked back into his bedroom and got onto the bed next to where MJ lay unconscious. He ran the wipe lightly over her face, revealing an even more beautiful one underneath. He wanted to kiss her but he know she’d hate it. Not only from the Snow White and Sleeping Beauty movies, where she voiced that she thought the ‘no consent’ was not cool, while he pointed out that they were dead or under a curse and literally could give no consent or they’d die. She just muttered “corpse-fucker” under her breath. So I’m the moment, Peter decided against kissing her. He went back to his room and wiped down MJ’s face, grabbing the dirt and oil and makeup out of every pore he could. He lightly swiped over MJ’s eyelids, taking the blue eyeshadow and eyeliner off.

“Huh.” Tony appeared in the doorway of his room.

“What?”

“You do that so well. How?”

“I took a cosmetology class my junior year of high school. I was already dating Em at the time so I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but I got a lot of requests for prom makeup and shade matching that year. Gave me a lot of brownie points because I was the best in that class.”

“I never knew that.”

“I never told you. Well, I’m sure I did. Or at least said “I’m doing a cosmetology class this year.” Or “these girls want me to do their prom makeup.” You just weren't paying attention.”

“Sounds like me. Sadly.”

“It’s fine. But now I always do MJ’s makeup. Especially during formal events.”

“No wonder she always looks good.”

Peter chuckled. “Do you need me to take off Pepper’s makeup?”

“Yes please.”


	20. Jokes on you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't figure out a way to expand this so I gave up and decided to post it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guys!

Peter couldn’t find his homework. Which only made everything worse. He was already late to school and he knew Natasha was waiting downstairs on the couch, car keys in hand to drive him to Midtown. Tasha always drove him on Thursdays and Fridays. Peter tore apart his room and with no luck finding the physics papers, he ran into the hallway and into the elevator, backpack trailing behind him. 

“Common floor, please Fri?” Peter said, and the elevator started moving immediately. He tapped his foot anxiously, waiting for the elevator to get to the common floor, where the kitchen and living room were. The doors finally slid open and he stumbled out of the elevator, starting his search for the homework.

“You ready to go Pete?” Natasha called from the couch, looking up at the frantic boy.

“Almost, I’m missing some homework and I can’t find it.” He replied, rummaging through papers, mostly tax forms and junk mail. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath when he had gotten to the bottom of the pile with no luck.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Sam barked from the table, where he was scrolling through his phone, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Haha, jokes on you, I don’t have a mother.” Peter replied dryly. “Ahah! I found it! Tasha, let’s go.” Peter looked up from where he was stuffing the sheet into his bag, and noticed that it was eerily quiet. Sam’s mouth hung open and he looked shocked at Peter. Steve had stopped from where he was cooking the eggs and sent the boy a concerned look. But the worst one of all was a glare from Natasha, who had stood up and sent the looks his way. He visibly cringed under her gaze.

“What?” Peter asked innocently.

“Oh my god. Peter. You can’t just say things like that!” She hissed.

“I can’t?” He slumped into the seat behind him, sporting a confused look.

“NO, YOU CAN’T.” She yelled.

“Oh.” The boy sat in silence for a minute contemplating every life decision he ever made until Nastasha hauled him to his feet, grabbing his bag and shoving it into his chest.

“Let’s go squirt.” She said, already walking out and leaving a frozen Peter behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank. Suggestions and feedback are always welcome!


	21. First Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had an idea: what if Peter could sing really well and didn't let like anyone know so he invited someone to a talent show where he sang and they were amazed. 
> 
> So this is that.
> 
> Also I just really like the song First Burn go listen to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly because i have been listening to Hamilton and Company on repeat for the past few weeks and I like to think that Peter's like a really high soprano.

Tony stood in the back of the auditorium next to Pepper, May and Natasha, the only people Peter invited besides himself. It was Peter’s school’s talent show and Peter was performing in it. Tony didn’t know what, since Peter refused to tell them, keeping it a surprise. Tony assumes something like solving a rubix cube in record time or a skit of sorts. Nothing he knew Peter could do would work on here without giving away his identity.

The show started and soon after the three got through some painful skits, pretty ok poetry and singing, they were at Peter’s performance.

“Now, Michelle Jones, Peter Parker, Sally Avril, and Abe Brown, with “First Burn”.” The announcer said. The auditorium went silent as music started and the four kids walked on in all black, standing in front of microphones.

“I saved every letter you wrote me.” MJ started. “From the moment I saw you, I knew you were mine, you said you were mine, I thought you were mine.” Her voice flowed freely and evenly through the speakers, as if she needed the extra volume. “Do you know what Angelica said when I'd told her what you’d done? She said,”

The second girl joined in with MJ. “You’ve married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun.”

“Don’t.” Peter sang. “Take another step in my direction I, can't be trusted around you.” Tony was shocked, he never knew Peter could sing! “Don’t think you can talk your way into my arms, into my arms.”

“I’m burning the letters you wrote me.” The other boy Tony assumes was Abe sang. “You can stand over there if you want, I don’t know who you are, I have so much to learn. I’m rereading your letters and watching them,”

“Buuuuurn.” Peter joined in, their voice flowing together, harmonizing well. 

“I’m watching them Buuuurn.” 

“You published the letters she wrote you.” Sally sang. “You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed, and clearing your name, you have ruined our lives.”

“Heaven forbid someone whisper.” Michelle started. “He’s part of some scheme, your enemy whispers so you have to scream! I know about whispers, I see how you look at my sister.”

“Don’t!” All four sang. “I’m not naive.” Peter took off. “I have seen women around you. Don’t! Think I can’t see how they fall for your charms, all your charms!” The other three joined in at the last bit, Peter taking the highest harmony. Tony heard Pepper gasp beside him. He was feeling the same way.

“I’m erasing myself from the narrative.” MJ sang, setting off a wave of “I’m erasing myself from the narrative”s form the other three.

“Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted, when you broke her heart.” The echo started again, but all four matched up by “How Eliza reacted.”

“You have thrown it all away, stand back watch it buuuuurn.” The four harmonized, once again letting Peter take the highest. Tony could see Natasha’s grin, the way her eyes sparkled watching Peter onstage, she was enthralled by the number. “Just watch it all buuuuurn.” Peter riffing on the high end of the scale.

“And when the time comes.” MJ started.

“Explain to the children.” Peter continued.

“The pain and embarrassment.” Abe kept going.

“You put their mother through.” Sally finished.

“When will you learn.” It flipped back to MJ.

“That they are your legacy.” Peter joined her.

“We are your legacy!” Abe joined.

“If you thought you were…” Sally finished off the quartet

“Miiiiine,” MJ started high-ish on the scale.

“Miiiiiiinee.” Peter went over her, higher than her.

“Miiiinnnee.” Abe sang over them, lowest on the scale.

“Miiiiinnnee.” Sally finished off, riffing up the scale.

“Don’t!” All four finished in unison, standing there, breathing heavily but away from the mikes. Peter broke out in a smile and the other three followed suit. The audience burst into cheers, clapping and whistling. The four took a bow, holding hands, and waited for the cheers to die down before walking off stage.

Tony was lost during the rest of the show, his mind occupied by that last riff of Peter’s. That was his kid! He weaves through crowds of people to find Peter when the show was officially ended. He and the other three were near the stairs surrounded by people congratulating them. They all smiled and said their Thank you’s.

“Tony!” Peter’s eye lit up when they saw the man. Peter rushed towards him, engulfing him in a hug.

“Pete, that was amazing! I had no idea you could sing that well, or high! That last riff kept replaying over and over in my head.”

Peter blushed. “Oh, thank you!”

“I’m serious, kid. You’ll have to sing something else for me. So I can see the full extent of your power.”

“MJ and I do a really good “you make me happy” So I’ll see if she’s willing to do that.”

“Awesome, now introduce me to your vocally talented friends.”

Peter laughed, pulling Tony to the other three.

“Y’all this is Tony.”

“Hi Tony!” Sally greeted, holding out her hand.

Tony shook it. “Sally right?” After her conformation, he continued. “I loved it, you sang beautifully and I truly enjoyed the performance.”

“Thank you!”

“And you’re Abe?” He turned to the second boy. “You added so much with the lower notes, it’s always good to have different ranges in a quartet, usually two higher ones and two lower and your group did that amazingly with diverse voices.”

“Thank you so much!”

“And MJ.”

“Stark.” She growled. Then broke into a smile. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“You’re coming over tonight.”

“Huh?”

“You’re coming over and you Peter are giving me duets and solos until you can’t sing anymore.”

“400 bucks and I’ll do it.”

“You got it, now get in the car.” He pushes her and Peter outside into the Audi waiting on the curb. The three women behind him followed, Pepper joining him in the passenger while Nat and May went to their respective cars, promising to go to the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank. Suggestions and Feedback are always welcome.


	22. Whenever you’re ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes from a nightmare and natasha comes to comfort him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time, my computer got messed up and posting on your phones is a pain. Anyways, love you guys! Take care of yourselves, be safe in school and do your homework.
> 
> Love you and Goodnight
> 
> Parker

Peter awoke with a start. His breathing was heavy and he could still feel tons of concrete heavy on his chest. Ribs puncturing lungs, fracturing bones, spine breaking.

“Peter? Would you like me to alert someone?” FRIDAY ran out from the ceiling. Peter caught his breath finally and shook his head.

“No.” He panted. “Don’t.”

FRIDAY was silent, so Peter took that to mean he was in the clear to panic by himself. 

_Un, Deux, Trois,_ he breathed in and out with the French numbers that he learned from Pepper.

The door cracked open slightly and his head snapped up, expecting Tony. But instead red locks swung through the door before the face attached to them did. The person slipped inside, revealing Natasha. He gave her a weak smile and she sat down on the bed next to him, swinging her legs up next to his.

“Is everything alright Petya?” She asked quietly. 

“Yeah. I don’t know. Is everything alright?”

“That’s what you’re supposed to tell me. What’s happening?”

“It’s embarrassing.” Peter mumbled into his knees, face red and blotchy.

“Then I’ll wait till you’re ready to tell me about it.” She said, wrapping her arms around him and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. She waited a bit longer to see if Peter would crack, when he didn’t, soft melodies emerged.

“It’s a web like a spider's web.” She sang, voice angelic and side of her Peter had never seen. “Made of silk and light and shadows, spun by the moon in my room at night. It’s a web made to catch a dream, hold it tight till I awaken, as if to tell me my dream is of you.” Peter lifted his head, staring at her with curiosity.

“Where’d you learn that?” He whispered, not wanting to break the tranquility of the room.

“My Mama taught it to me before I was taken at my ballet recital.”

“To the Red Room?”

“To the Red Room.” She confirmed.

Peter hesitates before opening his mouth. “It was a nightmare.”

Nat nods. “Do you mind telling me what it was about?”

“Uhh, I was- it was 2 years ago, just a bit after the airport. There was a villain I was chasing, uh, he called himself The Vulture. I was really close to getting him a few times. Then, uh, Tony took away my suit, so when I went after him the last time, I was in my onesie of sorts.” Peter gulped, holding down a laugh. He could feel Natasha cringe next to him. “I got hurt, badly. I was crushed under some concrete. About five tons of it, and had to get out of there on my own. Tony still doesn't know.” Peter breathed out a sigh of relief, hiding his face in his hands. 

“Oh Petya.”

“Please don't tell him. I'm embarrassed about it.”

“Why are you embarrassed?”

“He took away my suit to keep me from doing something dumb, but I did the dumb thing anyways. If he knew. Man, I’d die.”

“You almost did.” Nat snorts, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“Look, Nat. I need you to not tell Tony about this ever at all. He worries too much. I came home last week with a minor stab-”

“The cut went from your shoulder to your bottom rib. Everyone could see your liver. Man, when Bruce was helping Cho with the operation, he said that your right kidney was so visible, it was getting damaged from the New York air cause that shit’s so dirty.”

“Ok, fair. It was a major stab and I almost got some kidney failure or whatever, but Tony freaked! He was all like ‘Oh you’re in for it and I’m gonna take away your suit or whatever’ but he was so mad and if I tell about something horrible that happened to me two years ago, he’s going to be all ‘And you didn’t tell me?!’ I don’t know.”

“Pete. Tony won’t be angry. He’ll be disappointed. And scared for you. But he wouldn’t take away your suit. So don't think that’s going to happen. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks Nat.” Peter sighs, laying his head on her shoulder.

~~

“Petey-Pie? Come in here.” Tony called from the kitchen. Peter took the knife and the jar of Nutella out of Sam’s hand, who objected and failed to take it back, and strolled into the kitchen.

“My man! Wassup?” Peter asked, digging the knife into the plastic container and licking off the giant glob of Nutella that came with it.

“I want to tell you about something I saw that kind of upset me.”

“In my defense, MJ bet me 5 cents I couldn’t drink that much shampoo.” 

“...What?”

“Nothing.” Peter quickly replies.

“Only five cents? You know what, it doesn't matter.”

“Totally. Doesn't matter at all.”

“What I was going to talk about, was that I got an alert from FRIDAY last night-”

Peter tries his best to keep his cool.

“-And she said you had a nightmare. So I got out of bed to go check on you, but she quickly reassured me that Natasha was helping. So I got back in bed. Wanna tell me what happened?”

“I- Uh.” Peter stuttered.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Tony said, and Peter could tell he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How’d you like it? Any request for me?


End file.
